Will to Live
by daisherz365
Summary: Bee is consumed by grief whens she decides to go take a run to dull the emotions she's feeling during a thunderstorm. She didn't expect to meet anybody, or that anyone would care. Enter Sam Wilson, the man who genuinely wants to help people. [Pre - Civil War]
1. Chapter 1

**WILL TO LIVE**

So this is something that I spent the morning writing. I've had the idea for a couple of days. I'm blaming it entirely on how enamored I am with Sam Wilson. It's possible I may write more of this but I'm not sure. Just gonna put it out there and see if anyone likes it. I hope someone does. Anyways enjoy.

much love,

day

* * *

There are many things that should be let go of when it's raining and you're more likely to catch a cold if you stay out for more than five minutes without proper shelter. For me, this morning provided zero thinking.

There was so much on my mind that a run felt better than sticking close to the tragedy that I was feeling since two days ago. So here I was running, a semi usual occurrence in my life until I started to feel like I couldn't run anymore and I was left in the dirt and muddy ground, trying to catch my breath and crying.

I had sat there for a little while knee deep in my emotions before I was jolted from it not from the thunder but from a voice. A deep voice that was crazy enough to be out on a morning like this. Dripping and holding his own unlike my pitiful self.

"What?" I croaked, I wasn't sure of what he had said only that he was talking to me.

My hair had fallen into my face and the curls were a shield for the man that had moved closer to me. He was dark not only in the weather but because he was a black man.

"Are you alright?" He asked crouching with a hand extended. He had been smart enough to be in proper attire for the weather though it was still making him look like a wet puppy.

I paused for a moment, brushing my hair out of my face before deciding to be honest with this man who had stopped for me to check on my wellbeing. Anyone else would have probably be more focused on getting out of the storm. He seemed genuinely worried about me; a complete stranger.

"Do I look like I'm okay? I'm not."

He didn't frown or get upset with my tone. Instead he looked around for a moment before gesturing for his hand again wanting me to take it. I sighed, seeing that he wasn't one to give up on a lost cause and put my hand it is. The contrast in our skin would have been an intriguing sight if it didn't feel like it did outside. I was more lighter with a tan. I could thank my mother for my complexion. I could thank her for a lot of things really.

He pulled me to my feet once again and I groaned again when I noticed how disgusting my legs and shoes were now.

"What's your name?" He asked.

I decided to give it to him though now I really wanted to take a hot shower and go curl up in my bed for all eternity.

"Bee."

"Bee?" He echoed. I realized he wasn't mocking me after a moment, he was trying to make sure he had heard me right. I nodded. "I'm Sam. How does going somewhere warm sound?"

I really should have said no. Stranger asks you to go somewhere, you tell them no because you shouldn't go anywhere with strangers. There was something so nice about Sam that I decided to forgo that line of thought. It was as if I had already decided that I would trust him. Perhaps it was because of our mutual predicament.

"Alright."

He didn't let go of my hand. Something that was increasingly weird to me but I hadn't exactly let it go after he helped me to my feet. "It's not far." He shouted over another round of thunder.

Where we went ended up being a place I never went to on the first date. I joked silently to myself. My coping mechanism for rationalizing what I was going here with Sam at his home.

I followed him in as he unlocked the door. He let go of my hand and I instantly felt the lack of warmth that it had given me. I didn't move any further than the tiles that sat at the entrance of his house. I was dripping and didn't want to drench anything too bad.

He chuckled from behind me as he tossed his keys somewhere. "I'll have to clean up regardless. C'mon." His hand was on my shoulder, gently prodding me to walk forward and in turn guiding me to a bathroom.

He had me wait in there for a solid two minutes before coming back with a pile of clothes. "Don't know what you like." He had a few different shirts and pants choices for me there. I smiled shortly in thanks as he told me where the towels were and began to tell me how to work his shower only for me to shoot him a look. "I did warn you." He grinned before leaving me there.

I shut the door and sat the pile on the toilet seat before stripping my clothes.

I heard water coming from somewhere in the house. He had a second bathroom. That was good, at least he wouldn't get sick waiting on me to come out.

I hopped into the shower and began messing with the knobs. The middle turned it to spray. However I quickly learned that it got much hotter than it needed to be. I skidded back out of the spray and away from scalding myself to death.

"Cold. I need cold!" I muttered to myself as I jerked the other knob all the while keeping my body away from the hot spurts of water. I used my hand to test it before continuing on with the shower and a much bearable temperature.

I ended up donning a navy sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. They fit too well to be his. Past girlfriend or even a sister's perhaps? I didn't think too much about that. The sweatshirt was definitely his and it was very roomy and cozy to me.

I unfortunately couldn't do much with my hair but comb it out with my hands and towel dry it but that was okay. I'd dealt with the poof before. I would do damage control later.

I met Sam down the hall in the same direction that I had come from. He was in the kitchen which was adjacent to the table where people could eat. I decided to sit there while I waited for him to finish what he was doing.

I didn't really look past the fact that his back was turned to me.

"What's troubling you tonight, Bee?" He called over his shoulder as he turned back to what he was doing. It required his absolute concentration it seemed.

I breathed, inhaling and exhaling loudly. "Um, where do I start?"

He didn't give me much of an answer but assumed it was a go ahead to start where I wanted. "Well I lost someone very important to me few days ago." I almost fully expected him to tell me that everyone has lost someone but he didn't. He just listened to me as I slowly rambled about it.

"My mom kept me together for the most part. I know I shouldn't have depended on her guidance but it's hard when there was only ever the two of us."

Sam had turned around to look at me. To him he must have been slightly more important that he look at me now.

"Losing a parent, your only parent is a tough loss. I think we all stuck to our parents at some point." He wasn't putting me down. This was new for me.

Now that I could see him more clearly and we weren't sopping wet from the rain I could see that he had a nice face and calm demeanor about him. He was also built, his arms were quite large and wrapped within each other as he leaned on the counter.

"Do you still have your parents?" I wondered.

His smile changed, defeated as he shook his head. "They were both killed."

I felt sad. It shouldn't have mattered about me anymore. My mom was not killed, she had just had some very bad luck. To have her murdered would have somehow made it worse. "Sorry to hear that."

He shook it off turning away from me once again. "It was a long time ago. I'm sorry your mom has passed."

"You don't know who I am." I stated lamely as he soon came striding over with a plate of food and silverware.

"I do though. You're someone who is experiencing a loss. I talk with people like you everyday." I'm sure my surprise was divided between the plate in front of me and the information he was sharing with me. He could read it clear on my face.

"I work at the VA. I was a soldier."

That made sense. It also made it easier for me to believe that he was okay running in the rain. He had to have done that before.

"So what you pick up sad people every couple of days and get them to tell you why their upset?"

That smile of his was sweet. I don't know if I would get tired of it tonight.

"In a manner of speaking, I suppose. I've never done this before. Not without someone coming to me." There was something on his face that made me realize that he was thinking about a specific moment in his timeline.

"What do you normally do then?"

"Talk. It helps." He continued when he say the confusion on my face. "Most people just need someone to be there for them and be able to share their hardship with someone who understand and won't judge them for it."

I believed that was true.

"Can I eat this first?" I gestured to the breakfast he had cooked. He was still standing so I didn't know if he was joining me or what he planned to do.

"I think that's why I sat it in front of you. What do you want to drink?"

"Water." This made him laugh again. He shook his head before retreating back to the kitchen. He came back within a minute with a plate for himself and my water served with ice.

We ate in relative silence. He kept staring at me as if he was trying to figure something out but otherwise he stayed silent.

When we were done we moved to the living room and I sat on the recliner while he stayed standing. He moved over to a shelf and picked up two photographs. He had a few of them littering the shelves. Only one of the two he brought me was framed.

An old couple with a kid who had to be Sam where shown on the front steps of an apartment building. The shot was in black and white. "You look like your dad." I told him as I handed it back to him. He swapped for the other frameless photograph. "Who is this?"

That pained expression appeared on his face again. "Riley, my best friend."

He shared the memory of how he had lost Riley and I teared up a little. I didn't know what it was like to have a best friend. The world was severely cruel to a woman like me but the idea of a man like Sam defenseless to help his made me feel the pain even more so now.

"I live for these three. My parents taught me to keep living even when I want to join them somewhere less chaotic and Riley...he would have wanted me to keep going. It was what he wanted for me."

Through his pain I sensed strength. A strength I didn't possess right now.

"How do I do that too? I don't exactly survive in the best way."

"You keep trying." As I gave him back Riley he patted my shoulder. "Your will to live has to go further if you ever want to make her proud. A mother only wants the best for her child. I learned that lesson a long time ago."

I wanted to try if only to experience the level of assurance that Sam had. Before he gave me a blanket and a pillow to rest my head on for a few hours of sleep he reminded me. "You aren't alone."

* * *

The rain had stopped by the time I had woken up. My hair was dry and puffed up. I groaned a little as I turned towards the light source and decided to get up.

I stretched slowly as I made my way to the kitchen where Sam was.

He was not alone.

Sitting at the table that we had shared a meal at was a hero in himself. Captain America.

"W-What?" I stumbled a little in my confusion.

"Oh. She's awake." Cap said.

"What?" I mouthed again as I Bo guarded my way to sitting down in a chair. I needed to sit.

I fully ignored the papers that were splayed out as I focused on my breathing.

"I did not sign up for this." I huffed as I looked between the two of them who were both smiling.


	2. Chapter 2

WILL TO LIVE

2.

"I'm Steve." Captain America told me even though it was blatantly clear that I knew who he was. I lifted my head up, curls in complete disarray as I stared at the outstretched hand he was waving in my face.

Well, not waving. Steve didn't do that. He was very direct. So it merely was hanging there for me to take or disregard altogether.

I happened to really like Cap. He was a national treasure in a sense. It was pretty overwhelming just sitting across from him but for him to want to openly touch me - someone who looked like I did right now brought it to an entirely new level of weirdness for me.

Sam, I could deal with. He was normal to me. Steve, not so much.

I didn't let him stay in this position of wanting to shake my hand for much longer, instead grasping it carefully. He squeezed my hand firmly as I cracked a smile.

"So how did you two get together?" I questioned. I could have left it alone but this was entirely too much not to at least get that one question answered.

"I was on a run." Sam answered.

"Like when you met me?" I questioned, eyebrow twitching a little.

Sam laughed, nodding. "It wasn't raining at the time and he kept passing me."

I didn't really know what to say to that. "Right, I'm Bee. Woman not so much in distress as very confused about life in general."

"Aren't we all, Miss Bee?" He beamed.

Oh, he was charming alright.

I looked down at what was covering the paper then looked back up, between the two soldiers. "Should I leave you two whatever all this mumbo jumbo is?"

Steve waved it off. "No, it's fine. It's not a crisis. Planning something for a friend of ours."

I leaned into my hand that I had left propped up on the table. "What like a party? You people have time for that kind of thing?"

"On a good day." He continued while Sam continued to stand there smiling as if this was amusing to him. "I have a meeting though, so I'll take my leave now. It was nice to meet you Bee." He said over his shoulder as he turned and headed towards the door.

"You too." I called quietly, before turning to Sam.

He grabbed the chair that he was sitting in last night and turned it around sat on it backwards with his arms flung over the back of it. "So..."

"Interesting..." I trailed off, not knowing what else I could say after that tiny interaction with one of the Avengers.

"He's a friend."

I didn't think that was all there was but I didn't think that I needed to know the rest right now. "Right. So I should probably get out of your hair too. What time is it?"

"1:45 in the afternoon. I washed your clothes." He mumbled.

I had forgotten that I had pretty much left them in the bathroom after my shower. I wasn't sure where exactly I should put them. "Thanks. Sorry about that by the way."

"Not a problem. Mine needed a wash too."

I bent my head, hiding my face at the idea that he had washed our clothes together. I don't know why that affected me so much. It was a silly thought after the things we had discussed last night. I sighed, as I lifted my head again - shaking away my ridiculous thoughts and directing my attention to the man who had helped me in more ways than anyone who I knew personally.

"Thanks for looking after me. I know you probably had better things to do but it was a good thing to do. I don't see that often."

"If you need anything you can call or find me." It seemed that he had prepared for this, or maybe he was always prepared to give out his number to people who he helped. I honestly couldn't be sure but I did take the card he had reached in his pocket to get. I read the few words that were typed out on it.

Definitely something he already had prepared.

 **Sam Wilson**

 **VA Group Leader, Former Soldier, Friend**

 **xxx-xxx-xxxx**

His number was on it. Both of them. He had a line at the VA and one that he had scribbled under it for his cell. The address to where his work was also on the card. I suppose that's where I would find him if I needed to.

"Any questions for me? I didn't really share much beyond the whole grief emotional turmoil the last time we were in this room." I didn't want to just leave. It felt like a coup out. I felt like he deserved more than that. Someone like Sam deserved a lot of things for doing what he did for me. This would be the first thing that I would do.

I hadn't planned out anything else, but I figured I'd find a way to repay him.

I couldn't exactly give him money. I was barely making it as is on my own now but there were other ways to show your appreciation for someone.

Sam thought for a moment before coming up with something he must have really wanted to ask. "What's your full name?"

"You don't believe that I'm called Bee, Wilson?" I laughed.

"You have to admit, it's not a normal name."

"Mom wasn't in the habit of giving normal names okay?" I paused. "Bee T. Joseph, from Spokane."

"T?" He echoed.

"Just T, I told you..." I started before he intercepted.

"Mama wasn't in the habit of giving normal names. I'm starting to work out what it must have been like for you." I smiled. This was the first time in days that I felt something close to happiness at talking about my mother. I would have to thank him for giving me that. It was a gift, and in some weird way I felt like he was too.

"I don't know if you'd get it completely but it's a start. Anymore questions?"

He shook his head. "I think I'll wait until our next meeting to find out more."

"How do you know you'll see me again?"

His face blanked into a neutral expression as if it was obvious to him that we would. He couldn't be that positive of something after a chance encounter.

"It just feels like we'll cross paths one way or another."

I could take that for now. I had to meet my great grandparents to talk about some things before I went in for my night shift at the call center.

"Well until then, I suppose." I wasn't going to pretend like I didn't want to spend more than a few more moments with Sam Wilson. However, I couldn't drag this out anymore.

Sam got to his feet as I began to slip out of the chair myself. He turned behind him and held out a stack of clothes. "You can keep those."

"I don't mind changing." I mumbled.

"It's all good." He was smiling again. He led me to the door and before I completely was out of view I gave him a wave, because waving I did.

He returned it before ducking back inside.

* * *

He wasn't wrong.

I did see him a second time.

Two and half weeks later, flying over my head in a suit that had something that looked like wings.

I, Bee T. Joseph was completely done with all these superheroes in not so great disguises.

To make it better, I had practically shouted, "The fuck, Wilson?!"

Sam had the audacity to stop mid-air while swooping after someone and wink at me before going on his way.

I made sure to send him about ten texts in all caps.

None of which were answered until the week afterwards.

 **I try to keep the two lives separate. Steve likes to come whenever he wants. I follow. - Sam**

 _When are you free next?_

 **Tomorrow after 4pm. What's up, Bee? - Sam**

 _I guess you'll see me again. You know where the Honey Eyed Treat Shack is?_

 **Who doesn't? - Sam**

 _ALRIGHT. YOU._

 **Ha. I'll see you at 4:15. Take care. - Sam**

* * *

 **Hi again. This chapter is a bit shorter, but I'll get to more Sam - Bee stuff next chapter. I just wanted to finish off what happened in the first chapter. We'll get to see what she's been up to between the last time she was with Sam.**

 **Plus, our boy has a lot of things to explain it seems.  
Glad a few people are liking this so far. **

****It's nice to know that people love Sam as much as I do. I might get his perspective on Bee soon if anyone is curious.****

 **Feel free to let me know what you think, please.**

 **much love,**

 **day**


	3. Chapter 3

WILL TO LIVE

3.

The Honey Eyed Sweet Shack was a local establishment that I had found one day early on in my first days of living here. From my research this was the only one in the world, which made me feel elated to know that others wouldn't get this experience anywhere else. It was like coming home in a sense.

I even had my own personal table from coming in so often which probably wasn't the best thing given what they served. I didn't always eat, sometimes I just came in with a book or to people watch inside where it was much cooler. It didn't matter really, I enjoyed my time here which was one of the reasons why I suggested it to Sam. The other reason being that I hadn't been here since before my mama passed away.

She loved their apple crisps. I would get her a few portions anytime I came. Knowing that when I left I wouldn't necessarily need to brought the somber back to me tenfold. It was as I began to drown in those thoughts that he appeared. Sam, sunglasses on and a goofy grin on his face. It did change my outlook for the better, I admitted.

I stood as he strode over not really sure what I was going to do but he was the one who reached out for a quick squeeze (hug) before sitting across from me.

"Man, I haven't been here in a few years."

I chuckled, as he looked around. "I, on the other hand have been here almost every week. Probably shows." I tapped on my belly. I wasn't small by any means but I had never minded it. Some people liked eating extra and that was perfectly fine.

He waved it off. He decided to pick up a menu even though we literally would have to go up to order what we wanted. I hadn't gotten anything yet, deciding to wait until he got here to figure out if I wanted anything at all. I was still undecided so I looked over the choices again even though I knew what was served here.

"What would you recommend being a veteran and all, Miss Bee?" Miss? I tried not laugh. It was hard for me to be able to take that from Sam. Steve Rogers? Yes. Sam Wilson – and I knew I hadn't even known him that long or spoken him much in the past few weeks – I didn't see that coming from him. Yet it had.

"You can never go wrong with cobbler." I decided. All their cobblers were decadent. I knew how to make a pretty good peach cobbler. _Thank you, mama._

"Which one?"

Albeit my nerves were shot now knowing what he was up to outside of his work helping people I was feeling a bit bold today. I could doubly blame it on the anxiety I was feeling waiting for this moment to come. "Surprise me." I told him.

He didn't say anymore just got up and slipped into the small line of people who were waiting to order.

I waved to one of the women behind the counter who I knew. Her name was Trinity and she was a very lovable person unless she was angry. Today her cornstalk blonde hair was pinned back out of her face – a difficult feat considering how wild her hair was – and she was dusted with flour. She shot me a smile from over one of the customers who was asking her a question. After she finished with the man she surveyed the patrons for a second before locking her eyes on Sam as if somehow she had known he was there with me.

I groaned in my seat as I watched her whisper something to her coworker who was beside her kneading dough before ducking to the back. I knew she was probably going to wash up before coming out and trying to talk to either Sam or I, or possibly both at the same time.

It wasn't too hard to imagine what she was thinking. I didn't bring people around here who weren't my mama and even then I had only brought her along twice before she died.

I was lucky enough to have Sam come back before Trinity came out.

"I have to warn you, I'm friendly with one of the bakers here and she's about to come out to talk to you or me – I don't know which one yet."

Sam, who had bought us each a slice of peach cobbler a la mode with Coca-Colas just took all of this for a moment before picking up his fork to take his first bite of the heavenly goodness. "Hmmm." He hummed.

I waited unsure if it was about what I had just shared with him or the fact that he was deciding how he felt about the baked goods he was slowly consuming. "It's good. Really good." He mumbled.

It was then that I realized I hadn't touched my plate yet. Instead of starting to I grabbed my drink and took a small sip through the straw.

This place was setup close to an old diner only half the size of a big one. It was meant for a 'grab 'n go' types of people but there was enough space for a few booths and tables to be tucked in there without it being overly crowded. It gave the place character. That and the fact that the menus that were hanging behind the counters were drawn in a cartoony style that was amusing to look at. I had never asked Trinity who had done them before. Maybe I would today.

"So…" I started.

He put his fork down as if preparing himself for my onslaught of questions. It had been clear by my messages that I had plenty of questions for him. I didn't want to rush this.

"I just have one question today."

"Just one?" He asked, eyebrow arched up slightly in surprise.

"Yep. One single question."

He looked at me for a few seconds as he pushed his plate over slightly to move it out the way so he could fold his arms on the table. "You got my attention."

"I also grabbed it yesterday when you swooped down in your suit. The question is about the suit, by the way."

"No one ever asks about the suit." He seemed happy about the fact that I was being different than everybody else. A part of me was happy too. It was because I knew it was unexpected and different that I chose not to ask all the other question.

As I opened my mouth to ask him though, Trinity finally appeared.

"Bee, how are you?" I turned to her with a smile on my face. She was stalling but as much as I liked her I wanted to talk to Sam. I decided not to be rude. It wasn't in my nature to be so, instead I grinned at her. "I'm okay. Busy day?" This was supposed to be normal but from the way Sam was staring between the two of us I could tell that it wasn't. Perhaps I seemed like I was forcing it? It was possible.

"Oh, you know the same old though we got a custom order that came in that's going to wipe us out once this rush dies down. Who's your friend?"

"Your subtly needs work." I laughed as I gestured to Sam. "This is Sam Wilson, Sam this is Trinity – she owns this place."

Sam got to his feet though he didn't have to and gave that smile again towards Trinity. "Nice to meet you. Nice place you have here."

The blonde beamed at the happy customer who looked equally as elated. "Thank you. I see you enjoyed the cobbler."

It went like this for a little while. I sat there watching the two of them talk about baking and Sam's work with the VA. I learned a few more details about that while doing so, then Trinity was pulled away by a younger guy who needed her help with something in the back.

I noticed that the rush had died down a little which meant that it would be easier for us to talk too.

"I have a cousin like her back in Atlanta. Trinity is a bit nicer, I will say."

"Yeah? Why is she in Atlanta when you're here?" That was curious. I only knew that his parents were dead. I would think that any family that he had would have wanted to stay close to him.

"Ah." He started, sighing a little. "I suppose I could expand on my tragic family ties a bit." He chuckled shortly. "When I was younger it was seen as a really bad thing to be around me. Someone who had lost so much of their family because of what they were doing or even what they weren't doing right. For family it is hard to deal with all of that so they have the choice to move away."

That was sad. I had my grandparents at least though they were strict about some things. "That sucks." I mumbled as I scooped up some of my ice cream on the spoonful of cobbler I had tucked into. "I have my grandparents. They were very concerned when I told them that I followed you to your house after running in really bad weather."

That brought a small smile to his face. "I'm not so bad."

"No, but they don't know who you are. It kind of like having a second set of parents although much older and wary of everything. That wasn't the question I wanted to ask. I was distracted."

"By my charm?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "You superheroes really like your ego to show." I was kidding. I had already gathered that Sam didn't have much of an ego to show. At least not about that. He seemed to not care all that much about the superhero aspect unless he was helping Steve.

"Nah, it is a fun job."

I took a few more bites of the cobbler before straightening up and finally asking the questions. "Why the suit? It looked very tech savy. I guess I'm curious as to how it works and where you got it."

He leaned closer to me across the table as if this was a secret. "I can only answer part of your question because the other part is really hush hush and even though you're good peoples Bee I can't divulge confidential information."

I suppose that was fair. I nodded and waited as he continued to speak lowly to me. "I used to use the suit when I was in the military. When I left I left it there but I still knew how it worked even after all those years. It's getting an upgrade soon since certain events have happened."

I had no idea what he meant by 'certain events' but I would roll with it. It was pretty easy to just roll with things when it came to Sam. He was very chill, something I admired in him even when I was sure his job could get very hectic.

It took me a moment to realize that I had seen it in the photo of Riley and Sam. They both used to pilot the Falcon suits as I believed they were called. This was all very strange but clear enough for me to get.

"Riley too. Sorry." I started as if catching myself from saying something that I wasn't supposed to say or that I didn't need to because Sam already knew this. I was just catching up.

He didn't look pained today which made me feel a bit better of him dismissing my apology as if I had done nothing wrong. Instead he said, "I have a question for you too."

As I downed the rest of my drink, I gestured for him to go. He had the floor.

"Steve was wondering if you wanted to come to the party that we're throwing for that mutual friend we were throwing idea around for two weeks ago."

I didn't totally believe that this was Steve's ploy but I was curious as to who else they wanted me to meet.

"If I'm not working. When is it?"

"Tuesday night."

"I will let you know."

As it was customary in this budding friendship of ours his phone went off. He immediately took it out. "There goes my afternoon. Sorry Bee, Cap needs me."

It was lucky that I hadn't much more else to say for the moment. "Shoo go do your super cool things." He grinned while donning his shades again.

"See you soon."

There was that line again. For today I knew that it had to be true. We had more questions for each other and I was wanted to attend an Avengers party. Surely I could find some way to make that happen. This wasn't an everyday occurrence. It would just have to make a really good reason to be absent from work.

I sat there for a few more minutes before my own phone started going off in my bag. I struggled to fish it out, but upon doing so I found the word PA with a picture of my grandfather on it. "Hey Pa. What's going on?"

Trinity had popped from the back to gather the combined dishes that Sam and I had used. She was quiet as I spoke on the phone but continued to linger. "We need you to come over to finalize the details on the house. It's yours but they still need confirmation."

I sighed, it was good that I hadn't moved anything into Mama's place just yet. "Okay, I'll be there shortly. Have you eaten dinner already?"

"Not yet. I was going to ask you to go by that chicken place down the street to pick up the order. Grand-mummy won't be here tonight so it'd be just you and me Bumblebee." I tried not to laugh at that old nickname but it was Pa.

"Alright, I'll see you soon."

 _Goddammit Sam Wilson, now I will just associate that phrase with you._

"Bye."

I turned to Trinity. "The order going well back there?"

"More or less. Ren messed up the first batch. We'll be fine. Sam seems nice." She was smiling and I just shook my head at her as I got to my feet and slung my bag over my shoulder.

"Stop. I barely know the guy." _He invited you to hang out with all the Avengers, though._

"O..kay. Tell Pa I said hello. If I had time I'd get you a pie to take with you. I know he's a fan of the blueberry."

"Next time you owe me one then."

She gave me a quick hug as she put the dishes down and then I was heading out the door.

Time to have a night in with Pa. I was actually looking forward to it.

* * *

 **I back pedaled and didn't really get into what Bee had been up to without Sam. I gave a little hint to what happened with her mom's things though which I promise to actually address next chapter. We will probably get a little view into Bee's relationship with her grandparents too. I think that'll be good to know.**

 **Real question: do you think Bee should go to the party or do you think there should be another time when she is ushered into the fray of superheroes? If she does go who do you think will immediately whip her up and befriend her (ladies or otherwise)?**

 **I'll see you guys next time. Thanks for reading – how little of you there are.**

 **much love,**

 **day**


	4. Chapter 4

WILL TO LIVE

4.

Coming back to my grandparents place was always a struggle. Half the time I felt either exhaustion or trepidation as I dragged my legs to the front door. In the same state I was always a tiny bit glad to have made it this far. I never knew what I was going to get when I made it past the threshold.

Today was different. I had two avenues of conversation. Plus, I had chicken. Pa didn't mess around with his poultry, which was why for the past nine years I had been frequenting the same chicken spot for him. It was called _Terry's Chicken Barn_. I had never questioned if there was an actual man named Terry or Terrence who owned or worked in the place. It was a busy place and a local treasure to anyone who paid any mind to things like that. I had found a liking to such places.

I was usually in and out in about five minutes depending on whether or not my order was ready or not. I was only in there for about three minutes before I was heading down the next street to my grandparents.

They lived in a house that was almost a copy of the American dream. White picket fence included. I had spent most of my childhood in the front and backyards running around with the dogs that now stayed inside due to their old age. I unlocked the gate and slipped through before shutting it and slipping the metal lock in place again. It took all of two minutes to get past the shrubbery and skip the steps to unlock the door with my spare key. I knew that my Pa wouldn't want to get up from his spot in front of the TV whatever war special he was frequenting today.

As usual I moved around the front rooms and headed straight towards the kitchen where the light was already on. At least he had done that much for me as I constructed his plate of two thighs, a leg, and breast with corn and mashed potatoes (no gravy) before ducking into the fridge for his bottle of water. He would need something to cleanse all the grease and it usually stuck to water anyways.

"You better be eating with me child." Was his initial greeting when I passed him his plate and sat his drink on the coaster next to him. I shot him a quick smile before slipping back into the kitchen to fix a much smaller plate for myself. I wasn't quite as hunger as him but I put more sides on me as to lose the lecture I would get if there was empty space on the plate. Grabbed a water for myself too before taking my grandmother's place in opposite side. "How's it going Pa?"

He just grunted as he dug into one of the pieces of chicken. I knew there would be nothing but complete silence beyond him eating so I surveyed the area. Nothing had really changed apart from the abundance of photos of Ma. I looked down at my food and spooned some yellow corn into my mouth. I let out a sigh.

Pa surprised me for once and started talking to me while I was eating. "You look better than the last time I saw you, Bumblebee."

"Do I?" I breathed as I looked over at him. He didn't look as sad as he did the last time I was over. I suppose death was something that he was accustomed to. He had lost many friends, I had been to those funerals too.

He nodded, wiping his hands on a napkin from the small stack that was always present on the side table. "We can talk about the estate stuff later. I want to know what's changed with you?"

I bowed my head trying to hide my smile. "Is it a guy?" He asked almost immediately. I scoffed. "Why does it have to be a guy?"

He shrugged. "I'm not wrong, often." He mumbled. Well, he wasn't lying about that. Most of the times he pointed something out to me it was something that I was trying not to see for fear of something I didn't want. I supposed discussing Sam wasn't something I planned to do. Maybe it was easier that his other half wasn't around for this. She would pester me more than he was currently doing so I could do it. She would do more later when she was home. Hopefully I'd be able to dodge it at least for a day.

"He's a recent friend addition."

"Friend? Friend how?"

I could feel my mouth screw up at his wording. Perhaps he was worse than his wife. "Not like that Pa! I literally met him a few weeks ago when I was doing something stupid."

He gave me a squinty look as if he was getting more suspicious the more I didn't spell it out for him. I sighed heavily, "Alright, this was before we buried Ma...I had gone out for a jog...when it was pouring outside."

He didn't say anything but I did see him slink back more in his chair. He disapproved of my actions. "Does it make it worse than he was also out at the same time when I kind of slunk to the ground because I was upset about Ma and then I may of went to his house where nothing happened at all. He just gave me some clothes for a shower and we talked a little."

"No funny business?" He piped up after digesting that for a little while.

I laughed. "No. I'm not that kind of girl and you know it." He nodded. "Besides he works with the VA so he didn't mind that I went to sleep soon after that and left when I woke up."

Pa hummed before spooning up some of his mashed potatoes. He ate a few more spoonfuls before deciding what he wanted to say to me about this new person in my life. "You need friends in your life. Even guys. It's been a long time since you had one of those."

"Which one a friend or a guy?"

I knew what he was going to say but I asked it all the same. "Both. The last guy I met was Jay and we both know how that ended." I willed my eyes to dry before it ran over again at a thought at another person who left me. At least Jay had the decency to tell me goodbye before he disappeared.

"We don't need to talk about Jay. It happened, it's done." I rather stay as in the moment as I could, it was no use looking in the past. Not about Jay anyways.

"What's this new friend's name?"

I didn't falter as I told him. "His name is Sam."

He left at that while we ate and watched an old game that he had in the VCR. Not many people kept those around but Pa did. He had to convince my grandmother many times not to simply throw it out. He had a large collection of tapes that he would find useless if he thought to toss it out.

Much of it were home movies that hadn't seen the light of day in years. Speaking of those, after we finished eating I cleared away the dishes and made sure everything was spotless before Granny-mummy returned. She liked to keep it clean. When I returned to the living room Pa was putting in a new tape. It didn't look to hold all the dust that the other had collected over the years.

As the film began to play my breath caught. There was Ma during one of the better days or maybe before she ever really got sick standing in the kitchen - our kitchen - she was talking to me. She called me her sweet honey pie. My eyes glossed over but I kept looking and listening to her final words. Things she hadn't said to me, but everything that would help in the days to come. When she gave the wave to shut the camera off I wiped my face and turned to my Pa, he nodded before passing me a large envelope that I knew held the documents that I needed to sign as the agreement of her last will.

I grasped it and took it out. I did look at the front page for a little while without saying anything. There was so much I wanted to say. I decided to wait until I signed it to say anything. It was one of things that I needed to get over with anyways.

Signing my name in print and cursive carefully before dating it and passing it back over to Pa. He simply nodded, the deed was done.

"Did you know about the tape?" I breathed as I ran my hand through my hair.

"Nope, wasn't mines to watch. You can take it with you if you want. I know your mother has a player in her room. Could be where she recorded it." I couldn't make heads or tails if that was actually true. I would watch it again another day when I wasn't so emotional. I wasn't quite there yet.

"Thanks Pa."

"You know I'm here for you, Bee." If I wasn't already looking at him and could see the look of intensity and pure genuine love behind it, the use of just my first name gave it away. I reached over and patted his hand. "I know. Love you, old man." I chuckled trying to take the easy going route again.

"Get out of here before I tackle you to the ground. Old my ass, kiddo." I kept laughing but chanced a peck at his cheek before grabbing the tape out of the VCR and making a dash out of the house.

It was only as I headed to the bus stop at the end of the street that I realized I hadn't told Pa about the possibility of going to a party surrounded by superheroes and important folk. I could use his advice on the matter. I didn't tell him that Sam was the Falcon either. I figured that was something that limited people needed to know. Though I was sure at some point it would come out. For now I was fine with being the only one who realized it.

/

I waited until Monday morning to text Sam. I had mulled over it after having a conversation with both of my surviving relatives. There was a bout of explaining how I came to know Sam in more definite detail. Grand-mummy needed to know all and I had gotten pretty close. I couldn't bring myself to tell all - I'm not a gossip but I told enough to satisfy her concerns of me seeing this guy again in a more public place surrounded by his friends that I had to fib and claim were in the law enforcement. They were a form of protection but I couldn't remember what their stance on the superheroes that now littered the city, and the country. All would come out when the time was right.

 _Okay. I'm in. Where's this party at? - Bee_

 **Yes! _ - Sam**

There was an address to a place that didn't have a name so maybe it was an apartment building. I'd have to put it into my phone later to figure it out. For now I had one additional question since he answered so quickly. It was a bit surprising considering how long it took him the last time.

 _What's the dress code? - Bee_

 **Casual probably. Girls are different though… - Sam**

He hadn't a clue which just made me laugh.

 _I'll figure it out. Geez. - Bee_

There was a message of emojis that I found later when I paid any mind to my phone. He was being ridiculous that I'm sure meant he was attempting to be funny. And I laughed as much as I tried not to.

The next afternoon I spent an hour trying to figure out what I would wear. My wardrobe was limited and Sam's clueless attitude towards what a person who wasn't used to any of this certainly hadn't helped but I managed to make myself look like I hadn't tried at all. That in itself was fairly normal for me. I didn't try so I wouldn't be going that far for a group of people apart from two who I didn't actually know.

Around fifteen minutes before I set out to leave for the party I got another text from Sam telling me to call him when I was close so he could come out to get me. It was with this notification that my nerves decided to kick in. I had been anxious before but the fact that he wanted to bring me in himself kind of made it amplify tenfold.

It took about twenty minutes to get there, fifteen minutes in a cab that I almost didn't take then five more minutes due to an accident which made me just throw the fare at the driver without asking for change out of frustration and deciding to walk the rest of the way. I decided to call Sam during this time to vent though it did help I was close as he asked.

"You here?" He asked immediately. It sounded like he had exited out of a room to somewhere quiet.

"Almost. Walking the rest of the way because of an accident. Oof." I could hear him laughing at me. I had to try not to roll my eyes at him. I had almost tripped over someone who was posted near the corner. I moved the phone away to offer an apology before continuing on.

Turning on the avenue that the party was supposed to be on it was clear that this street was often The center of lively comings and goings. It was such a different place to where and what I was used to. I must have gasped because Sam immediately we concerned. "It's a busy place. If I didn't have a reason I don't know if I'd come down here willingly."

"Yeah, well that's Stark's MO. The busiest the better."

"Is that whose party you asked me to come to?" The image of the billionaire came to my head and I had to fight down the girl that smeared on my face as my eyes surveyed the curb as I kept walking trying to not make a repeat of embarrassing myself in front of more people. Tony wasn't my favorite person in the world but he was more normal to the people I dealt with on a daily basis so I found that comforting knowing he could be among the lot, if not the main attraction at this gathering.

"Nah, it'd probably be in the center of the city somewhere if that was the case."

"Well don't keep me guessing, Wilson. I'm a few steps behind you." I wanted to giggle so bad as the man twirled around in an almost comical way and ended the call.

What happened next had me shaking my head which was half curls and half pinned down. "Damn, girl." He was very clearly impressed with my state of dress. It wasn't anything fancy. Just some jeans, lime green Chuck Taylor's with white shirt and an old jacket from university that I had dug out.

I got ready to tell him to lay off the flatter because it was both embarrassing and ridiculous seeing as he looked great too but a woman's voice interrupted from a few stories above.

"Hey now, that's a better greeting than I got when I first met you Sam." A red haired beauty grinned cheekily as she looked down at the two of us. Try as I might it was going to be hard to be around most of the Avengers but Natasha Romanoff would take the cake.

"I know you're a spy, Nat but you couldn't let me have this moment." Sam pouted. I nudged him in this shoulder. "You'd think you were bringing me home with that look on your face." I joked as I waved up to the assassin.

She did something that shouldn't have surprised me as much. Natasha flipped out the window with a roll and took a few steps towards me with her hands stressed out. "To add to that line, he was being suspiciously secretive when he left the party. I like to know what my boys are up to. I'm Nat."

I took a deep breath as I took her hand and gave it a nice firm shake. "Bee, and yes that's my actual name. Nice to meet you."

"Nice, so Sam you don't mind if I steal your friend will you. It's rare to find a civilian in our mists that isn't afraid of someone who could kill them."

She was referring to herself, clearly. "I did come to meet his friends...so." That appeared to be the only thing she needed to hear before she looped my arm through hers and we left Sam at the door.

Sam who was left to his own devices just shook his head at the retreating women. "Dammit, Romanoff." He rushed inside hoping Bee would be alright.

* * *

 **Sorry for the delay. I've been working on this for awhile. But we met Pa! That's exciting. I really like the man, we'll get more of him and actual wife in the future.**

 **I thought about putting the party in there but what I have planned is better for a full chapter on it's own so we'll see how that goes next time.**

 **What do you think of her introduction to Nat? I always knew she'd be the first one apart from Steve who would find out about Bee before anybody else did!**

 **Let me know what you think, please!**

 **much love,**

 **day**


	5. Chapter 5

WILL TO LIVE

5.

I knew I was going to get overwhelmed being surrounded by so many superheroes but I don't think I was quite prepared for what I was met with when Natasha pulled me inside. It was a very boisterous environment. There was a bar, and people dancing on one side of the large loft that they were using, plus a pool table where Captain America and Thor were having a friendly game. Steve raised his head when he heard Natasha pass by. "Hey Bee! Glad you could make." He smiled.

I gave him a small wave as we stopped a few paces further than the table. "How come you got to meet her first, Rogers?" Natasha sighed.

"I actually go to Sam's house." He called as he got in position to knock in a stripe ball. I looked at Thor who was concentrating on Steve. He hadn't moved to greet me yet. I didn't see that as a bad thing. The large man had forgone his battle armor and was in civilian clothes. It was a very strange sight once you knew that he was a part of a bigger world that was far far away.

I didn't comment on it as Nat once again took my arm and we circled back around to the sofas where a few others were gathered around. A man in a leather jacket with cropped brown hair that almost looked blonde in the strobe lights that were flashing in different parts of the room. He tilted his head backwards once we stopped. "Barton, this is Bee. A friend of your best friend."

"Not you?" He questioned. He was fully aware that Natasha did have a lot of friends that weren't in this room.

"Sam. Your bird friend or whatever." She rolled her eyes.

He poised his hand on the back of the couch and moved in-between the two of us. "A friend of Sam's is a friend of mines. How's it going? Your name is Bee?" He questioned. I had a feeling I was going to get a lot of that tonight.

I shook my head. "Yeah. It's not a nickname." I may have sounded a bit exasperated but I got this question a lot.

"Cool. You're the second insect person we have in our ranks." I gave him a look of confusion. I hadn't heard of any such guy. "New recruit. Or he will be soon enough with the way things are going. Scott Lang also known as Ant-Man."

Oh! I did know who he was talking about. He had saved his daughter from an insane business mogul. "Oh right. Why are you getting him?"

Clint Barton didn't say anything. He just smiled and gave Nat a very careful look. "I'll see you in a bit. I'm going to see if I can win over Thor since Cap's taking a break." We both looked in the direction of the pool table where Steve was looking abashed before leaving to join Sam who had just trickled in. He was searching for something. It was only when he spotted me and Natasha that he nodded trying to make sure that I was okay. I was perfectly fine in the hands of Black Widow who gave him a wave of dismissal as if he was being annoying. Perhaps to her he was. But, I didn't mind his concern. It was rather comforting considering where I was.

We moved on to Tony who was by the DJ talking to a strawberry blonde who looked half irritated and half happy to be here. "Pepper. This is our new friend Bee. Sam brought her along."

"Technically 'Steve' invited me but Sam is the only one I really know here." I chimed in as I took the tall blonde's hand and gave it a firm shake. She was very pretty and I knew who she was. A civilian and proud CEO of Stark Industries which she took over for Tony as Iron Man is a full time gig. She's also his partner. "Nice to meet you."

"I wish Jane had been able to come, and Darcy. Then we wouldn't be the odd ones out. They are in a foreign country doing some work in the interspace technology realm. I guess the easy way to explain it would be something to do with Thor."

"He's here though so why isn't she?" It confused me. It wasn't in any papers but Jane Foster had been spotted with Thor a few years ago when New Mexico had been hit by the aliens of the Nine Realms. It wasn't too far to think that they were an item.

"It's safer. He does know how to Skype so that helps."

I almost wanted to ask was it safe for Pepper too? Or me? If a scientist wasn't safe then people who had no idea how to do anything that could possible help superheroes or act around them, was she truly okay being here?

Pepper must have read the panic on my face because next she had put her drink down and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry. This is the safest place you can be right now."

I hoped that she was right about that. To alleviate my concerns they decided to skip the introduction to Tony who immediately asked if saying hello was too hard and something about birthdays before taking a trip to the bar. "Have you ever had White Russian?" Natasha asked as they had me sit on one of the stools.

"No…"

Natasha looked happy with the news. "It's a good night to try it. Hey, can we have two White Russians and a water." She turned back to me and motioned to a woman with loose and shiny brown tresses. "Maria, this is Bee."

"Sam's Bee?" She asked as she moved from the further side of the bar so that she could come down to where we were.

"How do you people keep finding out about me before I even meet you?"

"It's my job to know the people who associate with my friends." She smiled. "You're good." She commented a second later. She said to slow and with a bit of hesitancy which made me believe she knew about my past. I bit my lip trying to school my expression as to not let on that I didn't want that put anywhere. She just continued smiling.

I let out a sigh. Natasha passed me my drink. It was foamy at the top and looked dark towards the bottom. I gave her an uneasy look. "It won't kill you, I promise."

"Don't tell her lies, Nat." Pepper said. "It's nice to try new things though." She said a second later, gesturing for me to go ahead.

I went for it. The first gulp down burned. It had been awhile since I had done any drinking. I wasn't a huge drinker to begin with but I could indulge like the rest of them. I put the glass down as I let it go down. It wasn't the smoothest first taste but it wasn't bad.

I did cough though. It had hit me hard. I drew in a deep breath. "I may have over done it." I choked out as I looked at the red haired assassin. She waved it away. "You were better than Pepper." She joked at the blonde who just gave a very dry laugh.

"I may clean up Tony's messes but I don't try to kill myself in one shot."

"I didn't tell you to chug it, Pepper." Nat said in reply. I just laughed at them. They were so amusing.

Another voice soon came from behind us. "Natalia what have we told you about hazing prospective girlfriends?" The Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes was standing there with a look of distain. Next to him was a woman with purple hair who just poked up for being so moody.

"Don't mind him, he's just a little annoyed with being here. Tony isn't making it easy on him." She paused as she gestured to the drink. Mind if I finish it for you? Take the water." She pointed to the bottle of chilled water.

I smiled in thanks as I passed her the drink. She twisted the glass around to get a clear spot and tossed back the rest. Bucky had a faint grin on his face as if to say 'that's my girl.' Bucky looked less threatening when he smiled. I hadn't even thought of the idea of him being here after everything that had happened. My money was on Steve and Sam getting him here somehow. I'd have to ask one of them later.

There was a short lull of silence before the purple haired woman actually introduce herself. "Barnes, you're really going to get it when we go home. Your manners have gone out the fucking window." Anyone else would have thought she was upset. She was really just teasing him. "I'm Emilie. I kind of got myself in the life by accident. Oh, and I'm stuck to him too. Boyfriend or something like that."

I heard Bucky grumble at her choice in words. 'Something like that my ass.' It was hard to take him seriously when he was like that.

"Don't down play it Emi. You were kind of fated to this idiot." Natasha mumbled.

Bucky sighed. "You're all testing me. But okay fine. She's right."

"I'll tell you about it sometime, Bee was it?" She smiled as she outstretched her hand. I took it and nodded. It would be nice to have another friend among the others I was slowly collecting tonight.

"Yeah. I'm sure it's an interesting tale."

"You have no idea." Emilie said as she squeezed Bucky's hand. I watched him return the gesture in kind. They were pretty cute together. It was almost surreal to see a trained killer being affectionate with someone who looked so normal; like me. But, if the way Emilie responded to what I said was anything to go by I was sure there were things about her that would give me pause too. I would look forward to meet her.

"You know if you let go of her hand she won't walk away, Barnes." Natasha really loved to egg on the Winter Soldier. It was funny because he seemed to not be able to shake her off even when he was relatively calm. He shut his eyes as if counting to ten but then Emilie was waving at me. "C'mon."

He jerked his head towards Emilie who was starting to pull him away from our group. "What?"

"You're going to dance with me." It wasn't a command she was making a suggestion.

"Am I?" He looked amused.

"Yep. I believe you owe me a dance." She told him with the same amused look. From the roll of Natasha's eyes it was clear they were always like this. Utterly adorable.

"Okay?" Emilie asked him a second later.

"Fine. I won't apologize if it's a horrible dance." He grumbled as they headed further away to the corner where Tony had just disappeared from. I blinked. Pepper decided to go find him. She didn't want him to get any more trouble, especially at a party. I had wanted to tell her how much trouble could he be at one of these. From what I knew I had already had my answer. The man hadn't mellowed too much.

"Do you like daiquiris, Bee?" Maria asked as the bartender came over.

"Uh, sure. Yeah." She order two. One for her and another for me.

"Are you guys still trying to get Bee drunk?" Steve asked as he and Sam came over. I smiled at the latter to let him know that I was fine. I was adjusting to all of this but the girls were really nice not to mention entertaining.

"No one is forcing her to do anything, Rogers." Maria told him as our drinks came out. I took a sip of mine. Strawberry daiquiris are probably one of the drinks I like the most if I'm actually drinking. I let out a sigh.

I heard Sam chuckle from my left. "What?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. When I tilted my head to look up at him he was still smiling. He was obviously amused about something. I just gave him a look which made him laugh more. I shook my head at him. It was nice that he had finally made his way towards me. Besides Captain America he was the only one I really knew here. Not that everyone hadn't been absolutely nice but I felt that weird ease with Sam.

Steve leaned over my shoulder at my right. "So Bee do you dance?"

I must have looked very shocked or something because he too started laughing. "I guess. I haven't danced with anyone in a while…" I trailed off.

He looked to understand. "Well, there's someone who wants to dance with you if you want to."

He was asking for someone that wasn't currently in front of me. I could read it off of him. Also, Steve wasn't be as awkward as most guys would be if they were asking a girl to dance. I spun around to try to scope out who he's talking about. "Who?" I was curious and trying to figure out who would want to dance with me. I had literally just come because one of the Avengers asked me to come.

"Dark hair, orange shirt, close to the DJ." He motioned to the left a bit. He wasn't particularly special but I didn't like rejecting people. I had felt the rejection way too often. So I decided maybe I'd go for it.

I looked over at Sam who looked to be in a conversation with Maria. He looked preoccupied. One dance wasn't going to hurt. "Okay. Sure."

Steve helped me off the stool and walked with me over to where he was standing. The guy's name was Tucker. He was from Minnesota, and was only here with a friend of his who was currently in a heating conversation with Thor. Thor looked amused but other than that there was no way to tell what they were going on about.

Steve only stayed long enough to explain that I was a friend of the Falcon and that he would be good not to do anything stupid. It wasn't a huge threat but it was there. It wasn't until we were on the dance floor that I felt this sudden panic rise in my chest. He looked like someone I knew.

Emilie who was close by must have noticed that I had stilled for a second. She called – more like yelled – to get my attention, "Bee, you okay?"

Bucky and Emilie and stopped dancing as they waited for me to either snap out of it or tell them that they needed to interfere. I did both at once with a little laugh. "Sorry." I told Tucker. I inclined my head slightly so that the other two could see me. "Just thought I saw someone. It's nothing." Neither of them looked like they believed that but they didn't push it.

Bucky gave me a little nod before twirling Emilie around so that she was pressed into his chest. I turned back to the guy who just smiled. "Wouldn't happen to be Jay, would you?" He had his arm around my waist. I stiffened again.

Before I could ask who he really was the ground was shaking and it had little to do with the bass of the song. It felt like the floor was turning and with that I slipped. He wasn't too far away from me but I didn't care.

What the hell was happening now?

-x-

Sam tried to look for Bee first. He knew that Bucky and Emilie were close by. That they would get to her before he did but he still wanted to look. Steve stopped him. "Emilie has her. We need to get everyone else out. Focus."

He was focused but he nodded anyway. He took in a deep breath and grabbed the bag that Clint passed to him. It was time to suit up.

-x-

"What's going on?" I asked as Emilie and I tried to stay close to each other. Bucky had gone to try to help Steve with everyone else. He had muttered something about meeting at a place with sunshine. I hadn't understood what that meant.

"I don't know. We gotta get out of here. Now." She sounded distressed. I wasn't as afraid as I should have been. Maybe it was the idea that the guy who had mentioned Jay was still nearby and my thoughts were immersed in it.

"C'mon." Emilie said as we dodged a few chairs. I could see Steve's shield and an arrow or two from Hawkeye but other than that everything else was moving too fast. I wasn't as built at any of the others but I pushed myself to survive the next couple waves of debris and falling objects.

I had a pretty good grasp on timing but the men with weird facial art were not something I was prepared for. One second I was following Emilie towards the windows and a second later I had been thrown back by a force that wasn't entirely natural. I faintly remembered the sound of glass shattering before I hit my head on something rock hard. Then there was nothing.

-x-

Emilie was trying to make a grab for a falling Bee. She was unconscious and there was blood at her temple. Sam cursed as he switched his trajectory to grab both girls before something else happened and he had one angry assassin on his ass. He didn't need that on top of everything else.

Emilie thanked him but looked concerned about Bee. "Who are these guys?"

"Thor might know." Was the only thing he could think to say before dropping her off where Bucky was waiting. He gratefully caught her. Sam waited until the two had started down the stairs before moving out the window. He'd catch up with them shortly. He wanted to make sure there wasn't anyone else left behind before he headed towards the summer house.

The area was remotely clear besides these new enemies. He looked down at Bee. He had to get her somewhere safe. He needed to make sure she wasn't hurt seriously before he went any further.

It had taken about thirty minutes of Sam flying through the air before she stirred at all.

-x-

"Ow." I breathed. I didn't open my eyes just yet. I felt strange, as if I was on a rollercoaster that was barely moving. It was cool wherever I was.

I decided to peek one eye open. "Oh fuck." I practically shouted. I kind of flailed a bit and reached up to take hold of Sam's shoulder. "We're fucking flying." I was aware that I was cursing a lot but could you blame me? I had never flown outside of a plane.

"I'm glad you're awake." He mumbled as he dodged a particularly deep cloud. How could he see where he was going like this? "Had me worried for a bit there."

"I'm sorry?" I questioned. I was still trying to wrap my head around the flying part of all of this. "I don't really remember what happened."

"Emilie can tell you once we get there." He said as he shifted me in his arms slightly. It must be tiring to carry around someone like this. Especially when you have to focus on where you're going and not the person.

He chanced me a glance as if he was just checking I was still breathing.

"Where are we going exactly?"

"A safe house. Or a version of one." I had no idea what to think of that. It was better for me to go with it. Wing it. I had to stop myself from laughing at my pun. I smiled a little. "What are you thinking about?" I think it was half his curiosity and a way to distract himself and me when he did a particularly quick loop.

I groaned. "This will never be easy to deal with." I almost removed one of arms from around his neck but I was scared of falling. I didn't think he would drop me but still. "Oh, I thought of a bird pun. Not worth mentioning."

"Humor me." He was smiling.

"It's stupid. Instead of just being like I can just go with it. I was like I'll wing it." He didn't say anything for a moment. It looked like he was searching for something. "See. Silly."

"No it was good. I'm just trying to remember if the house is further down." He paused a second and using one of his hands to touch the right side of his mask. "Steve, how far am I?"

"A mile out. How's the package?" I heard him say.

I rolled my eyes and Sam actually laughed. "She didn't appreciate you calling her a package but she's awake."

"Oh! Sorry Bee! I was just…" I heard him trying to not put his foot in his mouth. I let out a sigh. These guys.

We had started to head down a bit. We must have been getting closer.

Sam and I stayed quiet up until the point where he told me to jump. "What?" I asked him really alarmed. "Steve's gonna grab you. I need to land somewhere else. I'm too low."

I trusted Sam. So I took a deep breath before letting go. It scared the shit out of me but I was glad when I felt the strong hands of Steve Rogers around me. "Nice catch, Cap." I told him.

He tried to apologize again for what he said but grew concerned when I clutched my head. "Let's get you inside."

I looked at the house which looked more like a large cabin in the lighting. This was very different than what I was used to. The first person I saw was Emilie who had stopped mid pace to rush over to me. Despite only just meeting me I could tell she had been worried.

I could use some fretting I suppose. Things were certainly getting stranger around here.

* * *

 **You know time is a weird concept to me. Because it doesn't feel like it's been three months since I updated. But time is weird. Anyways here's a longer chapter for you guys. I'll explain a few things before you go.**

 **WHO THE HELL IS EMILIE? - So if you've read my Bucky story 'His Name is Bucky' then you're familiar with her and her relationship with Bucky. If not, I encourage you to do so. Both of them will be major players in the grand scheme of the story. The story is only 3 chapters (it says there is four but I'm doing one-shots now for the universe, the main story is 3 chapters and pretty long) if you feel like reading some POST TWS – Civil War stuff. Emilie is going to be a really important part of Bee's life. As will Bucky as we'll get to at some point. Bee and Sam will be making their way into those shots also at some point. It's a shared universe obviously. That's fun right?**

 **WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED? – Okay, so I've had the plan for there to be an attack at the party for a long time. It was actually one of the first things I came up with. So there's that. I'll go into more detail about that next chapter.**

 **WHAT'S THE TIMELINE? – I've literally just figured this out. I was originally going to have this outside of the MCU timeline but considering I threw BuckyEmi (That's what I'm calling the pairing now) into this it now has to have a timeline. This fic is just shy of Civil War. It'll be before it starts. As with the ending of the main fic of His Name is Bucky it'll eventually lead into Civil War but as it stands and what I have planned for it and how it'll end we're not entering CW territory (this could change, my plot ideas tend to change at some point). Hence why Bucky and Tony aren't friends. Tony doesn't like him. You get it. So that's it. I can't try to rationalize it right now but if you read HNiB you'll probably be able to understand it more.**

 **WHO THE FUCK IS JAY? – Remember I mentioned him in the chapter with Pa. He'll be important later. He is someone Bee was involved with a few years back. It'll be explained soon. Don't worry.**

 **If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask I'm really open with talking to you guys. Also please let me know what you think. It'll help push me into working on the next chapter as soon as I can. I hope you enjoyed this one and I'll see you next time.**

 **much love,**

 **day**


	6. Chapter 6

WILL TO LIVE

6.

Emilie seemed a bit off centered since the last time I saw her in the falling loft. She has a hold on my hand that is firm but gentle, as she walks in between the others that are gathered there. I'm not focused enough to pay any mind to who is here and who isn't. The pain on the right side of my head is enough of a distraction. Then there's the purple haired woman who looks like she's searching for something but she can't figure it out what that is.

Bucky has called out to her as if he already knows what she needs. Maybe he does, they seem to be connected in a way that reminds me of my grandparents. "Last door on the left."

Emilie gives me a little wave before pulling me along down a corridor. At least she isn't in too much of a hurry it seems now. I notice that there are a few different kinds of woods on the floors of the hall. Most of the house that I've seen so far seems to be made out of wood. It's not as weird to me as it should be. This place isn't exactly a cabin but it has the makings of one.

As we slip into the room she lets go of my hand and I unconsciously flex it. She really hadn't hurt it. It's an impulse whenever I've been holding someone's hand for a long period of time. Mom used to say it was because I went along with things without ever thinking about how holding someone's hand made me feel. I still didn't understand what she meant by that. I didn't really know Emilie, so my feelings about her suddenly reaching for my hand and pulling me along were very simple. I didn't mind it.

I took the moment to finally ask her about where we were. "What is this place?"

She had just thrown open the closet of the bedroom that we had gone into. It was a small room for the size of the house itself. She was currently bent over to grab something that she had specifically come into this room for.

"It's my family's place. Or well…mine really. No one really comes here anymore." She explained. She reappeared after a few minutes of her fiddling with stuff that was on the ground inside the closet. I couldn't tell what she was doing but she seemed satisfied. "Sit." She said quietly as she moved over to the bed.

I followed her lead on pure instinct. Sitting down on the bed. "You took a nasty fall or push actually."

"What were those things?" I asked. I hadn't gotten an answer out of Sam. I didn't know if she would know anything more but it was worth a shot.

"Extraterrestrials. Think Star Wars but worse." She told me as she started cleaning the wound on my head. I hadn't gotten a chance to look in the mirror and see what was going on with my face. I felt pretty shitty.

"You have experience with this stuff?"

Emilie hummed. She was being careful not to brush against my skin too hard with the alcohol. I heard her mumble something about stitches. I inhaled as I watched her get what she needed from the kit. "You might want to take off your jacket." She paused as if seeing something she didn't like.

I took a second to look down at my clothing. Oh. I see what she meant. There was glass and blood covering it. I hadn't really thought about there being further injuries.

As I began to tug at the sleeves to pull it off I felt a sharp pain in my left arm. It wasn't until the fabric was completely off that I saw where the blood had come from. It had started to seep through where the pocket had been.

I winced as I looked at the red stain that was practically soiling the white shirt. I sighed. This would be a hard subject to talk about with my grandparents.

"Don't worry. I can take care of it. You don't do any heavy lifting for your job, do you?" She asked as she tilted her head to look at the trail of blood. It certainly looked bad.

"Thankfully, no. I work at a call center."

Emilie looked amused. "Just lifting phones then." She joked.

I smiled at her.

"OH! Before I get distracted again. To answer your question about the aliens, no. This would be the first time I've encountered one or several at the same time. I have fought several buff dudes though. All humans as far as I know."

She was so small, I almost couldn't imagine that. Then I remembered how quickly she had moved in the loft.

She went back to working on my head. "This might hurt." I didn't think it would. This wasn't the first time I had stitches. Or been cleaned up by someone before. I sat still as she began to thread the needle. She had looped about three sections before the door was opened and Sam came in looking calmer than I had seen him in the past two hours.

"There you are." He sighed. Had he been looking everywhere for me? If so, why hadn't Bucky just told him I was with Emilie? "Yes." I mumbled trying to keep my face relaxed as Emilie continued threading and pulling the stitches tight.

"Does that hurt?" He asked as he walked over and stood a few feet behind Emilie so that she could have room to work.

"Not really. My head is throbbing but it's not from that. Probably from the whole being throwing part. I hit my head so…" I trailed off.

"There's some pain medicine in the bathroom." Emilie tells him as she cuts off the end of the thread to tie it off. I didn't realize it until Sam had gone out of the room that that was partly an excuse so that she could help me take off my shirt without prying eyes.

It was practically stuck to it. I kept seething as we finally settled on pulling it up quickly and over my head. "Shit." I breathed leaning over as I sat back down. That shouldn't have been the worst part. The worst part was messing with whatever was back there that I couldn't really see. It had started on my hip and slid on towards my back. It could have been a very small cut but it hurt like hell.

"I'm going to need an extra pair of hands." Emilie said quietly. She sounded reluctant as if she didn't like working with other people when he came to this. However, when Sam came into the room she launched at him. "I need two towels, hot water and the bottle of peroxide."

"Why don't you keep those in the room with the first aid? Which by the way is kind of odd that it's in your bedroom." Sam mumbled, as he passed her the medication.

I heard Emilie say she wasn't the one who put the stuff away. "Have you been here recently?" It seemed like the most logically thing to ask.

She gave me a very curt no only to back track and let out a sigh. "Sorry. You're not bothering me. It's just a really long story and I'm trying to focus on you." I must have started blushing because she started laughing. "Aw, that's kind of cute. Does he know you're bi?"

I should have been distressed that she could tell that much from one moment of weakness on my part. It wasn't even that I found Emilie attractive though she was certainly pretty. Her laugh was surprisingly cute which only made the rest of me react in a way that I hadn't anticipated. "No." Now I was the one being cut and dry.

I stumbled over the next explanation. "We haven't really talked about that stuff. We aren't together…like that." I think Sam and I had explained that enough for one night but I still found myself trying to shut down the image of me thinking of him like that. I hadn't been thinking that way at all. He was a good guy and sure I enjoyed his company. But, we weren't there and I didn't know if we would be any time soon with the way things were going.

"Wanna know a little secret?" Emilie mumbled as she started to clean away some of the blood. I faced forward as to not have to look at how much blood that was still seeping out. I was wrong. It had to be a huge cut. I didn't remember hitting anything beyond my head.

"Uh, sure." I said, distracted by what she was doing behind me.

"That's usually how it starts. In my experience Barnes and I had this weird bond where he kind of came at me and I decided to help him out anyways."

"Like he tried to hurt you?"

Emilie laughed as if that sounded strange to her. "No. Not at all. Well, technically he did kind of grab me but he was skittish at the time. But, no. He's never hurt me. I know that sounds weird when you know that he's killed people. A lot of people but that has nothing to do with me or our relationship. We built a relationship on trust and being completely honest with each other. I'm assuming you two are pretty real with each other?"

I nodded. "Yeah. It's hard not to when my mom had just died when I met him."

Emilie grew quiet for a few minutes. From what I was getting from her person so far, it wasn't because of what we were talking about. She was working. She resumed the discussion once she had gotten to a point where she could move around to grab something from my other side. "Sorry to hear that. Both of my parents have been gone for a long time. Do you have any other family?"

It was ironic that my phone started ringing at that same exact moment. I couldn't move to answer it though.

Luckily Sam had just come back through with the towels. When he spotted my half-dressed self he put his hands over his eyes while somehow continuing to walk. "Didn't know you had her unclothed, Emilie." He sounded bashful. It was adorable.

"Yeah, well she had blood on her clothes and I wanted to be sure I got everything. All of you have given me enough practice with this." She gestured to the bloody mess of cotton. She took one of the towels from him and spread it across the bed. She carefully had me move onto the bed onto my stomach.

My phone started ringing again. I knew who it had to be.

"Sam." I called him. Making sure to look at him even though he couldn't see me.

"Yeah?"

"Can you grab my phone? I can't really move and I'm pretty sure that Pa or my grandmother calling for the second time."

Sam turned to the side before removing his hand and going for my jacket. He quickly found the phone before answering the call himself. He didn't get anything but a hello in before the yelling started. I gestured for him to hand it to me.

She was speaking in Dutch. Something she did when she was frantic and worried and sometimes pissed. It was a mix of all of it tonight it seemed. It was a good thing Pa had taught me the language when I was younger or else I wouldn't know what she was saying in the first place.

Currently it was a lot of my full name and something about Ma wouldn't want me to die away from family. I replied in the same tongue she was using. "You're being dramatic. Yes, I know there was an attack at the exact location I told you I was going to be at, but I'm fine. I'm out of the city. With friends. Yes. I have those. For fucks sakes. Sorry I didn't mean to-. Yes. I will see you on Sunday. Yes, I will call you the minute I get back home. Pa get her some tea." I told him just before the line cut off.

When I handed the phone back to Sam he was giving me a funny look. So was Emilie from what I could tell. "What? My grandmother is Dutch. I had to learn how to talk to her."

"She doesn't speak any English?" He asked. I noticed, that he was no longer hiding his eyes. I could see his confusion clearly now.

"No. She does. It's just when she's stressed that she starts reverting back to her native tongue. Which brings me to the idea that you should probably avoid her for a couple of months should you actually meet them at all. She'll probably attack you."

Sam didn't seem bothered by it at all. "I can take it."

Emilie laughed from behind me. I felt her kneel beside me to get a better angle as she started again with the stitches. While I had been on the phone she had pulled something out of my skin. I had been too enamored with not getting frustrated with my grandmother to make any noises that indicated that I felt her pulling it out. I resolved that it had to be glass or something equally sharp.

"Have you ever been around an angry Dutch woman before?" I called to him as I shut my eyes. I just needed a minute.

"No, but I used to be around an angry black woman for most of my life. They can't be that different."

"Oh Sam." Emilie sighed. "I'm sure they're similar but when you maybe can't understand the words she's throwing at you for putting her granddaughter in harm's way. You need to rethink that strategy."

"What would you propose I do?" He said. I could practically envision him with his arms folded. I smiled to myself.

I could faintly hear the sound of the door opening before two set of footsteps filed in. "Not go would be smart, Bird Man."

Bucky Barnes.

"Bucky." Steve was there too by the sound of it.

"Are you all just going to surround a half-naked woman who is trying to stay still while one of your girlfriend's has a needle in her?" I grumbled.

"We finished talking strategy with the alien Prince." The Winter Soldier replied with a tone that sounded like he really didn't feel like going back out there. Also he just wanted to be in the same room as Emilie. I had caught onto their protective vibes rather quickly. It wasn't like anything was going to happen to her when there were so many strong super heroes standing around here – and out there.

"Thor is cool." I told him.

"He's still an alien."

"Hush." Emilie called from my side. She sounded aggravated. She was at a delicate part if the searing pain that I started feeling was anything to go by. I buried my head in the towel covered pillow.

I felt a hand come up and lightly press against my shoulder. I turned slightly and saw Sam's face. He looked concerned. I gave him a reassuring smile. It was safe to say I may have to call into work tomorrow. I didn't see myself doing much moving.

"Hey, what's that friend of yours number?" Sam asked after a few moments of silence.

"Sam." Steve called as if he was scolding a child.

I laughed. "Steve he isn't moving in on her. He wants to have someone to watch me when I go back home."

"Right." He followed up, apologetically.

"It's in my phone. Under Tri."

"You should probably put a code on this." Bucky called from Sam's side.

"Bucky why are you creeping over Sam's shoulder?" Emilie asked him. Sam must have noticed him because I saw him grow very uncomfortable before Bucky backed up mumbling something about that not happening. "Liar." Emilie continued their banter.

"I don't lie to you." He responded quietly.

That made me want to bury my head again. They were adorable.

"Okay. I gotta get away from you two." Steve called before the door opened.

"He's joking." Emilie explained to me. "He loves that Bucky has me."

"He likes you too. He just misses his friend who is not me."

"You can call her his girlfriend, Bucky." She teased him.

I could see him shifting uncomfortably.

"Why is that a problem when Emilie is your girlfriend?" I finally asked him.

He grumbled but didn't really give me an answer. "He's weird." Emilie finally answered in his stead.

"You're weird." He shot back at her.

Emilie just shook her head at him. "You like your weirdoes, Barnes."

Sam was tapping away on my phone while all of this was going on. I heard the text alert a few times. "What do you have going on over there, Samuel?"

He lifted his head slowly as he came out of his texting zone. "She was worried when I said it was me texting her and wanted to know all the details. I told her what I could."

"Which was what?"

"There was an attack. I got you out safe, and you're resting somewhere comfortably for the night. Then I asked if she wouldn't mind staying with you for a few days once I got you home."

"Question." I stated simply.

"What are you going to do when you take me back home?"

"We get to go kick some alien ass." Bucky replied in his stead. Sam simply nodded.

Emilie had just finished her last section of stitches. I could feel her applying the gauze.

"But do you know why they attacked?"

"Why do they do anything?" Sam replied. I had the feeling he didn't know or he didn't want me to know.

Emilie had nothing to say about it. I wondered if she was used to not knowing what went on or did Bucky share details with her at a later time. A bit of both I supposed.

She helped me sit up. "You'll probably have to change the gauze every couple of days. I can probably come by in a couple of weeks to look at the stitches and see if they need to come out. I did the best I could for the moment."

"I appreciate it." I smiled.

"I need to get you a shirt." She told him before fleeing out of the room. I saw Bucky trail after her about half a minute after she left.

I turned to Sam.

"Do you really not know why the alien people attacked?"

Sam sighed. "I know a little."

"Feel like sharing. It makes me nervous not knowing stuff." Of course there was something that I had yet to share with him but that wasn't something we were dealing with right now. This was completely different. This was aliens with weird powers trying to kill people that I potentially cared about.

"Look." Sam started after placing my phone next to me. He crouched down so that we were at eye level. "All I can say is that it deals with Thor. I don't try to dig too much into the extraterrestrial business. I don't really want to go to a different universe or planet."

"What if you have to?" This wasn't me being worried about Sam exactly. It was me trying to gauge how comfortable he was with his other job. The one that had him away from his normal life several weeks and months – I'm sure – out the year.

"Then I better have one hell of an oxygen tank. I don't plan on dying in space."

I almost told him that he had no control over that. When you died, you died no matter what your plans were. My previous deal with that was my lesson in that.

"Don't worry so much." He told me as Emilie came back in with a pile of shirts.

"I don't know your tastes but between all of us we have choices." She places them away from all the bloody medical supplies. She began cleaning that up.

I looked through the shirts. A lot of flannel, a few hoodies, one or two t-shirts of various colors (purple and red). I chose the purple shirt and one of the flannels to put on in the morning when it would be cooler.

"Thanks." I told her once I had managed to wrestle the top on with a little assistance due to the stitch on my side.

"No problem." She turned to Sam. "Would you like to stay in here with her…it's one of the spares and she probably needs to stay put for a couple of hours? Sleep and whatnot."

"Sure. Thanks, Emilie." He went to her and hugged her. From her immediate reaction she was used to him hugging her out of nowhere. I smiled at the two of them. I was glad he had some normal friends.

She ducked out after passing along a number that I could use to call her in a couple weeks or sooner if I wanted to.

He plopped down next to me. I looked over at him. He looked like he was just starting to relax. His eyes were closed. His shoulder slumped. It wasn't asleep but it probably wouldn't be long before he was. I vaguely remembered the fact that he slept irregularly.

"I think you need sleep more than I do."

He chuckled. "Yeah. Good luck helping with that."

"What if I just didn't say anything?" I told him as he opened one of his eyes to look at me.

"Then I would be concerned considering you hit your head."

"It's not hurting so much anymore. I could probably stay up while you're resting."

He seemed touched by the offer.

"I'm serious." I told him as he kept looking at me as if I had given him an epiphany of some sort. I was just trying to do him a favor. I knew what it was like to not sleep. I didn't think I could go to sleep now anyways. Too much adrenaline after everything. Not to mention he was right beside me. I wouldn't be able to get my mind to shut up.

"Sure?"

"Yep. Go to sleep, Sam."

He squeezed my arm before turning slightly so that he was faced forward and closing his eyes again.

I grabbed my phone and put it on silent as I pulled up the message thread labeled ' **TRI** '.

 **Hey. This is Sam. Met you at the Shack with your friend. I was wondering if I could ask you a favor.**

 _Wait, why are you texting me? WHERE IS BEE?_

 **She's fine. I invited her to a party. There was an attack. Long story. She's safe, I swear on my life.**

I paused looking at it to look over at him. I bit my lip before going back to the texts.

 _She better be or I'll put someone through a blender._

 _What do you need me to do?_

 **Ouch! My friend…let's call her E had to give her stitches. AGAIN, she's fine now. I think someone should be with her for a few days at least. She might not be able to do things with ease. I won't be around. Unfortunately.**

 _Sam. You're the cutest._

 _I'll do it. Only because I love her, and you're fucking adorable._

I had to hold back a laugh.

 **Great. Well I'll be bringing her home in the morning around 9am. Meet me there?**

 _Will do. Thanks for taking care of her._

 **Anytime.**

I agreed with Trinity. He was pretty adorable with the way he had went ahead and gone this far for me already. I hated to think it was because he felt guilt with me coming to the party in the first place and then this happened. I didn't want him to think that either.

Yep. Sam Wilson was most certainly going to ruin my life. He had already started weaving his way in. I couldn't help but feel happy too despite the stitches that I knew him. All his complicated hero life had somehow felt less super when it was just him trying to be the same good man that I had met that day in the rain.

* * *

 **That was definitely a much longer chapter. The weird thing about this fic is that I only have a vague idea of what these chapters are going to entail. So whatever happens just happens.**

 **Okay so maybe that's not entirely true. I do know how the fic ends up going but I haven't gotten there yet so this is where we are.**

 **I'm loving this little universe I've set up. BuckyEmi being complete weirdoes who adore each other + Sam & Bee on their way to developing something special. I mean clearly Sam cares about her. **

_**THOSE TEXTS.**_

 **Is it cool for a writer to fawn over her creation because I kind of am when it comes to all of this? I hope you kind of love what I'm doing too. Let me know guys.**

 **The bit about going into space is inspired by an interview Anthony Mackie did about potentially putting the Avengers (specifically Falcon since he can fly) on Asgard or Guardians of the Galaxy type of thing and he was super against it. He had a hilarious to his answer of course but I thought it would be fun to toy with that idea if for a moment.**

 **BTW for any peeps who are digging His Name is Bucky you know we're about to dive into the Civil War shenanigans and let me warn you it's going to be a fucking ride just like this fic actually. I'm so excited for everything.**

 **Anyways see you guys next time.**

 **much love,**

 **day**


	7. Chapter 7

WILL TO LIVE

7.

I felt a nudge that barely moved my shoulder. "You up?" Sam's voice came from my left. I mumbled something that sounded like, "Unfortunately," before opening my eyes to look at him. He looked tired but otherwise he was still smiling down at me from his sitting up position.

"Did you fall asleep at all?" He asked. I technically wasn't supposed to have fallen asleep at all. Luckily I hadn't or there could have been a chance I didn't wake up. I think I experienced several near-death close calls. I didn't need to add another to my list.

"No. I don't even know if I'm actually conscious right now." I place my hands over my face and let out a heavy sigh. That in itself made me feel ten times more out of it. It was very rare that I was this bone tired but having to force yourself to stay conscious would do that to a person. Me especially.

I heard him laugh. He poked me in the shoulder for good measure.

I groaned. "Are we heading out?"

"Yeah." He sounded amused. I moved my hands out of my face once again to look at him. "Are you in a hurry because it might take me a minute to get out of this bed?"

I could tell from his expression that he was very close to joking with me. "You're fine. Your shoes are close by and you'll need one of the shirts because it's cool out." I had figured it would be cold. I wasn't sure what time it was but considering he asked Trinity to meet us at my house had to be somewhere in the early part of the morning.

I started to roll out of the bed or at least sit up but then it hit me that that was probably going to hurt a lot. That and the feel of the stitches as I tried to move had me laying back down. "I'm gonna need your help. This is really going to suck." I blew out a breath as I stared at the ceiling. I hated being dependent on other people. It was way I lived on my own.

Sam didn't seem to mind. He hopped off the bed and came around to the other side to assist. It was the worst side. I extended my hand out to him and he bent down to wrap his arm around my shoulder. It was more painful than I was hoping for as he pulled me carefully up into a sitting position. "You would be the guy who gets in with the crowd who do the super stuff." I told him as he bent down to make sure my shoes were in front of me so I wouldn't have to move that much.

He even went so far as to showcase a few of the shirts for me to pick. I grabbed the blue and white flannel and he once again helped me get it on.

"How much do you love the jacket?" He asked, pointing to the bloodied jacket that had once been wearing. I couldn't really love it that much could I after everything that happened.

"You can trash it, I suppose. I don't think I can wear it again." He nodded, understanding settling on his face.

We left the room together. It was really quiet throughout the house. I hadn't much attention to any of that last night when Emilie had immediately brought me to one of the rooms so that she could patch me up. Now I was noticing how little there was in the house. There was furniture – sure – but there wasn't anything that made it seem homey. Maybe because no one stayed her for more than a few days? I couldn't be sure.

Emilie and a tired looking Bucky met us by the door. Steve was on the phone in the kitchen. "Remember to call me in a few weeks." She told me with a smile on her face. I didn't really understand how she could smile with all this craziness going on but she must have been used to dealing with this kind of thing. I didn't get a chance to ask her how long she had been with Bucky. It had to be long enough for her to have somehow gotten Steve back with Bucky. That had to take a solid year or two at best.

I had just come into the circle. This was something I could also ask Sam. He had to have known about it too. He had mentioned that he was with Steve whenever he needed him. It wasn't too far to think that he would have asked him to help find him.

I gave her a small nod. It was the only thing I could muster at this point.

"I would offer you a hug but I don't want to hurt you." Emilie mumbled shortly.

I had to bite down a laugh and settle for a smile. She was really cute. If she didn't have Bucky...

I kept that thought to myself though I'm sure she knew what I was thinking because she started giggling much to the confusion of her boyfriend and Sam who just shook his head. "I'm gonna take her home before you decide to keep her or something, Em." Sam mumbled as I felt him reach for my arm so he could pull me out the door. I gave her one last look before I was out the door.

"What do you think she was going to do, Sam?" I asked as we walked towards a black Explorer.

"I wasn't too worried about her as much as you." I felt that small tug at my chest. It was more of a joking tone but I think his words had some merit to them. He had been concerned.

"Okay, then what was I going to do?" Sam gave me a look as if to say 'I saw the way you were eyeing her', I rolled my eyes at him. I wasn't going to try anything with a woman who was already taken. Especially someone who was happy and completely straight. She didn't give me a vibe that told me otherwise. "I'm not that kind of person." I answered him once he was sitting next to me in the car.

"I know, Bee." He was still looking at me as if he was trying to figure something out. He didn't say what. He just turned the ignition over and backed out of the long driveway that led into the road that would take us away from the house by the lake.

I decided that I would try to sleep while we drove back to town. That had to take some time. It was so remote. That might have been the point of it though.

Before I could fully get to sleep Sam asked me where exactly I lived. I would have slapped myself in the face if I was feeling up to it. I rattled off the address, it was on the other side of town than both Sam's place of employment – the not super hero related one – and his house. The place I grew up in was on the rural side of D.C.

He let me be after that. Or at least until I woke up on my own.

If I hadn't been in a car I probably would have slept a little more than the forty five minutes that I had. I started at the clock. It was a little after seven, I swiveled my gaze out the window to see exactly we were. We had gotten back to the city now. We weren't downtown as of yet but it was fairly close.

"Did you speed or was there no traffic?" I didn't think he should have gotten here that quickly. An hour at the least but he had already made it.

"I know some shortcuts." He was smiling to himself as if that was another secret he was keeping.

When we approached a stoplight he looked over at me. "Hey, I have a question. Do you drive?" The answer should have been simple, and truthfully it was but it triggered me to think of something I didn't want to. "Yes. I don't own a car though."

"Why not? This city is busy. You'd be a lot safer in a car than walking."

"I don't live far from I work, and anywhere else I need to go can be navigated through various transports."

We were moving again when he replied. "That doesn't answer my question. You're evading."

"It's a long story, but the short answer is I've never had the money to buy a car. Where I was living before I moved back to my mom's was hell on my pocket."

"So should you be able to buy a car, you would?" I could tell he was going somewhere with this.

"I suppose…" I trailed off, unsure where he was going with this.

"What kind of car?" He continued on as if this was really important.

I let out a sigh. "I don't know. I haven't really thought about it, Sam. Are you offering to go with me to find a car?"

We stopped once again. Downtown had traffic and we had to swim through it to get where we were headed.

"Sure." He answered without much hesitation. I just stared at him.

"I wasn't completely serious." This guy. He was something else.

I had started to realize that late last night while reading those text messages. This was something different. He was trying to help me with things that he didn't need to necessarily, and yet I was entertaining the idea minimally at best.

"I am." He sighed.

"Okay but you will have no hand in me getting the money for a car." I didn't think he would offer that kind of thing. He wasn't Tony Stark after all. He was Sam Wilson. This really humble person that I had come to know during one of the worst periods of my life. He was good. He was a nice change of pace, and yet he was still catching me off guard.

He made sure to look at me when he gave me the answer. "Deal."

The both of us were quiet for a little while as we cruised on through the traffic. It took about twenty minutes more than necessary to get to my house. When we did I wasn't that surprised when Trinity came rushing out the door. I turned to Sam only to see his door closing. He was on his way around.

He waved to Trinity before opening up my door and extending his arm again. I attached to it carefully and he helped me get down and out of the car. I had to put my hand up when Trinity approached. She could not glom me with a hug right now. Maybe in a couple of days or weeks.

"You really brought her back, hurt!" She turned back to Sam who was looking sheepish and yet concerned about who he was leaving me with. I let out a laugh at the sight of them both.

"I'll be fine, Tri. I'm all patched up. You probably won't have to worry about too much blood." Sam knew I was joking but Trinity was probably one of the most worrisome people I had ever met.

"BLOOD?!" She asked as she circled around me as if she could find where exactly I was hurt.

"Trinity. I was joking. I have stitches. If I don't move too much they won't open up." She didn't really believe me so she turned to Sam.

"Do you take her to a hospital or something?"

He shook his head. "A friend of mine is good with a needle, and I trust her. Bee can vouch for her, I swear. If it helps she's kind of in love with Captain America's best friend."

"WAIT, Captain America? What is going on?" We both had to watch Trinity has she tugged at her curls in exasperation at not knowing anything.

"You probably shouldn't have mentioned him. She's almost worse than my grandmother." At the mention of my grandma he perked up. I knew he was going to ask. "The answer is still no, Sam."

He sighed but accepted the answer. "Let's get you both inside then."

Trinity shot me a very confused look but I gave her a smile before she led the way to the door. Once inside I moved away from Sam and went through to the living room so that I could lay on the couch. I wasn't going to be going to my bed right now. Not with both of them here.

-x-

Sam found Bee's house welcoming. It had looked rather small on the inside but once they stepped inside it opened up into the large living room that shared two couches, one which she immediately gravitated to. It had a large blanket laying across it.

He smiled as he watched her curl up into it. She opened her eyes after a moment. "You can sit down." She gestured to the other couch slowly. As much as he wanted to stay he knew that he couldn't. Steve had wanted to get going on this operation as soon as possible.

"I can't. I gotta head back."

Bee sighed. "Alright, well just let me know when you're back home. Safe." She reminded him. He couldn't see her face but he imagined that she must have worried about him too. From what little they had talked about it last night, she didn't seem too keen on him going to fight a bunch of aliens. If only she knew how much it freaked him out. He hadn't even really worked with Thor before and yet here they were battling people that he had known.

"I will." He promised her.

Before he could head out though Trinity stopped him. "I need to know what you meant about Captain America. I mean he's a good guy. I had assumed you were a good guy. So what happened?"

Sam turned around to look over at Bee. He wasn't sure what he should tell her friend. Bee had only know the basics as far as he was concerned unless she went digging. He didn't think so though.

She must have felt him looking at her because she used the back of the couch to push herself up to sit. She looked a bit pained doing that. He had to keep himself planted on the ground as to not automatically make sure she was okay. This whole thing was really messing with him. His instinct to protect people was as strong as ever. That's why he had to leave this house.

"He's the Falcon." She mumbled before gesturing for him to go. "You should probably go before she does anything embarrassing." She had a grin on her face when she said it.

Sam gave her his own grin before rushing out the door. He couldn't help but wonder how that conversation was going to go down. He shot a text to Steve to let him know that he'd meet them in twenty knowing that they had headed to the airport where he was supposed to be meeting them.

-x-

I had to give Trinity the short version of events. Steve Rogers invited me to a party through Sam, I went to said party where there was an attack and I nearly got thrown out a window by some weird creature. I met Emilie who patched me up. She tried to ask a thousand questions but I had to cut her off after the second one. "I haven't slept hardly any. Will you let me sleep please?"

"One more question…" She mumbled as I laid back down on the couch. She pulled the blanket down so that I could have it. I tossed it haphazardly around me and cocooned myself until I was satisfied. "Why didn't you go to sleep?"

"Well, I could have had a concussion and I was also in the bed with Sam. The first though for sure." I could feel myself falling asleep when I felt her grab my face. I only opened one eye. "What now, Tri?"

"You were in the bed with that hot man?"

"Mhm." I hummed before turning out of her grasp. "I was awake. I let him sleep. Nothing else. I'm starting to regret letting him use my phone to get you here."

"I'll let you sleep." I can practically hear the smile in her voice. She would want to talk about that too. Dammit.

When I woke up much later it was dark outside and inside the house apart from the kitchen light that I could see from my position on the couch. Trinity must have been in there. "Trinity." I called, hoarsely.

I groaned as a sudden wave of memories hit me hard. I don't know if it was from the dream I had or if it was everything catching up to me but I could feel myself shaking in terror.

 _The car was on fire. I couldn't believe that I had been able to force the door open to get out. My head felt like it was split in two. I could feel that there was something wrong with my shoulder but I had to get away from the car._

 _He was still in it but I couldn't save him in my condition. I had tried waking him three times before I realized that the car was burning and I had to try to save myself. I didn't want to leave him, not really and yet I had to._

 _I could feel the tears of pain and anguish drop down in quick streams as I kept moving down the road. The one thing I was focused on was that he had intentionally hit that wooden pole._

 _I had survived it. He was still in that car. It blew up behind me. I couldn't look back. I just kept on walking._

I felt her hands on my shoulders, trying to keep me still. "Hey. Did you skip out on the pills or something?"

I broke out of it soon enough though I could feel the stickiness of my tears.

"I didn't think I would need them. I was fine yesterday." Then you nearly died again, I had to remind myself. Trauma was tricky that way. You think you're safe and it comes back and hit you several times over.

"You know you're supposed to take them every day. Are they in the bathroom?"

"Yeah." I sighed as I watched her leave me there. I knew that she was pissed at me. I knew why too. Trinity had been there then too when I needed her to help me. She had shoved my shoulder back into place despite how scared she was. Then she had gone with me when I started therapy for a couple months. I didn't like it so I stopped going but the prescription kept being filled over and over. The doctor more than likely taking pity on someone who wouldn't ask for help no matter how much she needed it.

I found solace in familiar things and the people who I knew I could trust. Trinity was that person. Pa was the only other one who had known what had happened. Because he found me a mess in the bathroom of their house one night when I had stayed over. I had to tell him. He had never told his wife much to my confusion.

Whenever we talked about Jay it was like twisting the knife. I hated talking about him. I hadn't fully processed what he had done. I still wasn't through processing it, it seemed.

Trinity came back with two pills in hand. As handed them to me I realized one was pain medication and the other that was supposed to be used to combat these little trauma induced attacks. She ducked into the kitchen to grab me a bottle of water. She returned with it and a sandwich which she must have prepped previously.

"Thanks." I mumbled before I tossed the medicine in my mouth and took a swig of the water. "Sorry. I know none of this is helping me or you right now."

"It's not me I have to worry about. I mean you haven't had an episode in what a year or so? Then you don't take your medicine one night and here I am having to fight back tears because I don't want to see you like that. I don't want anyone to see you like that. Have you spoken to Sam about it?"

I knew that she was right about some of it. I just didn't want this to be a big deal. I worked hard to try not to have to deal with this. I was dealing with it though. "Not really. I may have mentioned someone I lost but that was it. This was right after mom died so I don't know. It's not exactly on my list of things that I want to talk about, Tri."

"If he helped you with your grief and I think he did to some extent. It wouldn't hurt to talk to him about it."

"He isn't my therapist." I mumbled before picking up the sandwich. A lovely cold cut sandwich with cheese, pickles and tomato. It was delicious and I hadn't really realize how hungry I was.

"No, you stopped going to your therapist. From what I see he does want to help. You didn't see him fighting not to run over to you when you were pitifully trying to pull yourself up with your bad arm or side."

I had to fight a blush and instead looked at her as if she had grown a head. "What was he doing?"

Trinity smiled as if she knew what I was trying to do. "C'mon humor me. We're gonna be here a while anyways." She seemed to realize that too.

"Alright, fine." She came around and sat next to me, putting my feet up on her lap. "That was only my second time being around him and I could genuinely tell that he wanted to stay here with you. He was shifting on his feet slightly. You know that thing that guys do when they aren't sure what to do in a new place. It was like that only he knew what he wanted to do but he was running out of time. Did he go to do super hero stuff?"

I had nearly forgotten that the last thing that Trinity had heard from me was that Sam was The Falcon.

I shrugged with my good side. It still somehow hurt the other side. I looked down at my side and frowned. "Yeah, I think so. Before you ask I know nothing beyond the fact that he was going to meet the rest of them. I think he wants to keep me out of it."

I had given her the perfect opportunity. "He wants to keep you safe." She cooed.

"Quit it." I grumbled as I finished off my sandwich. "No chips?" I frowned.

"You don't have any." She remarked. "You can't seriously expect me not to find this whole situation great for you. You haven't told me exactly how you met. You said it was around the time your mom passed. So about three months ago?"

I nodded. "I really want something sweet."

"I will go shopping for you tomorrow. Just write out the list. I'll get it all. Stop avoiding my prying." She pouted.

I grinned at her. It was too bad I didn't see her that way. She was just Trinity. The woman who was as much as my friend as she was my lifeline for about three years now.

"Maybe take it as a sign that you should stop prying."

"But, he's handsome and you're my friend."

"Those aren't the only qualities to make this into something that doesn't exist as of right now."

"You told him to text you when he got back. That's one step in the right direction." She egged me on.

I groaned. "Okay. Yes. I want him to be safe too. Is that a crime?"

"It's adorable is what it is."

"Trinity, for the love…" I stopped when I felt my phone vibrate at my hip.

I handed her the plate so that I could get my phone. I would have thought it had gone dead at this point. I twisted out of the blanket slightly the jerk motion causing me to curse as I felt the pain.

"Is it that important? You know I could have helped you right?" She mumbled as I got a hold of my phone.

I could have. "Oops." I muttered. I wasn't good at accepting help from people but Trinity wasn't just anyone. She had helped me without asking plenty times before.

I pressed the button so the phone would light up.

 **1 SMS**

 **B.**

I bit my lip as I unlocked the phone. I knew that Tri was looking at me curiously but I was wondering what I suddenly had a message from him. It had been at least a year since the last time he contacted me. I didn't know where he was. I didn't know if he was still alive. I hoped. But, I hadn't heard a word and I hated contacting people for nothing.

I opened the message.

 _You okay?_

 **Good to know you're still breathing. I'm shit right now but hanging in there.**

While I waited for him to reply back. It usually took him a couple of minutes. I had found out a long while ago that he thought things out carefully before responding. I had met him through my job after all. It was technically against the rules to keep in contact with a caller but he seemed like he needed someone. I had needed someone too. I knew his name and though it would have been easy for me to find a picture of him online I didn't want to.

A part of the job was keeping things professional. I still took that on to some extent. Nothing would happen with B.

"Who has you smiling?"

"B." I replied simply.

"He's still alive?" She looked surprised.

"Apparently so." I mumbled as my phone buzzed again.

 **1 MMS**

 **B.**

I furrowed my brow before unlocking my phone. He had sent me a photo. I drew in a deep breath as it loaded and I saw a photograph of B. He wasn't smiling exactly but he seemed unscathed. A message was attached to it.

 _As much as I can be. Want to talk about it?_

I know I hadn't exactly told Trinity that I would talk to Sam about it though I did want to at least tell him a part of it. If I was going to have him going with me to find a car he had to know part of the reason why I hadn't bought a car. B to an extent did know that I had been in a car accident that had scarred me in some way. I hadn't told him anything more than that.

I looked up at Trinity to see her looking at me curiously. "I'll talk to Sam about pieces of the Jay story." I told her before I typed a reply to my other friend.

 **Well, I got myself hurt and won't be able to go to work for some time. T is here with me though. So that's something.**

Trinity looked over at the message I had sent. As I lifted my head I saw her smiling. She was glad I had finally agreed with her. Also that I was mentioning her, too.

"He's got that professor look to him." She commented at the photo of B.

He did. I had to admit that. It wouldn't change that I knew who he was. He was still my far away friend. I had no intention of actually seeking him out. It wasn't my place to.

* * *

 **Anyone want to guess who B is? He's also important. For later on especially.**

 **Also Bee's flashback about the car accident will be explored more later on. At least you know why she doesn't like talking about Jay.**

 **I think this bit is clear considering Bee's infatuation with Emilie but she's bi. She's dated both parts of the spectrum. She doesn't really lean to one side more than the other. If she likes a person she likes a person. It's actually the same way with me actually. So there's that just in case it confused anyone. Sam clearly knows about it too. He's a smart dude after all.**

 **Anyways I'd love to hear any and all thoughts about this chapter. I wasn't super positive how this chapter was going to roll out but I think it came out well enough for what I was trying to do.**

 **If anyone is curious about updates and such I'm thinking of updating both His Name is Bucky and this fic around the same time. So if one gets updated before the other one then you know that the other one is at least in my mind and will see a new chapter soon. I also just decided this today. So hooray.**

 **much love,**

 **day**


	8. Chapter 8

WILL TO LIVE

 **WARNING: There is a discussion around police brutality. I don't go into detail, it's about loss of life not specifically about the act. I'll go more into it at the end. As with the previous chapter (#8) of _His Name is Bucky_ I wanted to put the warning in case it makes anyone uncomfortable. Enjoy guys. **

* * *

8.

It had been a solid week before anything remotely exciting happened in my life. I was still at home recuperating and trying not to injure myself any further when I had to reach out to Emilie about a pulled stitch. Trinity had helped me the first couple of days with getting myself in and out of the shower and making sure that I ate and everything.

After the first couple days I started to make myself get up to move around as much as it irritated her. She once found me in my room curled up on my side on the floor after trying to look for something in my drawers and not factoring in the angle I was moving in. It was the wrong way of doing things. She made me promise to ask her for help next to him.

It didn't mean she was always around. She still had to work at _The Sweet Shack_. She woke me up in the mornings before she made her way to work, and then came by on her way back in the late afternoon usually bringing dinner with her from one of the various places that was around. Our mutual favorites was the deli sandwiches that was just down the road from where I lived. The shop owner was an old friend of my mom's and liked to send a couple of extra portions that I ended up eating the next day. He was a very sweet man. This was where Trinity had gone last night before I asked her to call Emilie.

I listened to her explain that she was my best friend and that I had just taken some pain meds so I wasn't in the best state to talk to the phone without making a fool of myself. She wasn't wrong about that at least. I could barely tell her thank you after she delivered the message and given me a short nod when Emilie agreed to come over first thing only asking us to make sure that it was disinfected and covered up for the time being until she could make it over the following day.

The day in question I had begun my online work for my job at the call center. I was one of the best at the center so when I had called to inform them of my need to use at least two to three weeks of my built up sick days because I had been in an accident they had immediately asked if I could do some online chats for a few days. They were desperate. They had even mentioned Vanessa the sophisticated woman who was usually distracted by her boyfriend who I had seen once – he was burly man with a penchant for fine suits, very intimidating and mean looking - to focus on the job at hand.

I agreed to fulfill only a few hours a day while I was out. I still needed to live and provide for myself. I did get paid vacation but if I could work while I was at it, I didn't really mind. I wasn't much of a homebody even when I was off from work. I was out talking a walk or doing something with Pa. It helped keep me centered than let myself think too much.

I had spent the past week thinking more than I should. About Jay and the man who I had briefly danced with at the party. About Sam who I still hadn't heard anything from. There was a lot of uncertainty on my part and beyond Trinity and the visit from Pa I got two days ago (at the bequest of his wife) there wasn't much to keep me busy. I watched movies and videos online while trying not to stare at my phone.

I was in the middle of a messaging chat with someone who was labelled as **Guest367a**. On the few times I had used the messaging feature and not my headset it became clear to me that even then there was no way to know much about the person. From what I had gathered so far the woman was dealing with the loss of her son who had been shot by a police officer in the past week. This was probably one of the hardest cases I've had to navigate. I had to worry about being monitored most of the time but I had asked considering this was my own personal laptop that I didn't want to be tracked. I would email my reports as I finished up with a client but this one was not the easiest nor would I really be able to help her without getting a lawyer involved. I didn't have her name yet but from the location she had given me of where the crime had happened she was in the lower D.C. area, away from the main chaos.

 **GUEST367A: I already lost his father to a gang incident in Mexico. I don't know if I can deal with another long period of waiting around to get official word.**

Me: _For now, don't think about the authorities involved. You need to focus on your son and what you loved about him. We can focus on the rest later. We will focus on the rest, I promise._

 **GUEST367A: Have you ever lost your whole world before? Do you know what that feels like?**

I drew in a deep breath, biting my lip for a second. Like with B, this woman was angry. When I had helped him the first time I had to draw on self-experience to let him know that I wasn't just another drone behind a receiver or in this case a monitor.

Me: _I do. I almost lost my life once, and more recently my mother passed away. I'm still dealing with each part of it. Grief isn't something that just goes away. I know how that sounds. But, it's something a friend of mine reminded me. Your grief is fresh. The way it happened is unforgivable –_

I was getting ready to continue typing when I heard the knock at the door. I saw Trinity slip pass me to get the door. "Got it." She called as she rushed to open it. I went back to what I was trying to do.

 _Me: There's no way to accept it. I know I'm supposed to sooth your worries and hope that this doesn't happen to another family but the world is a scary place. I put my faith in mothers like my own who protected me from the harshness of the world until I was ready for it. From what I've gathered he was almost ready for it. Your son would have been happy to have had you guiding him for so long. I know it's the one thing I've learned to remember when I think of my own mother._

The sound of footsteps behind me didn't bother me as I waited for the response from the mother who had truly lost everything. I still had Trinity, and my grandparents. I also had Sam now too, and my professor looking friend who I talked to sparsely. Not to mention the new friends I had cautiously acquired because of Sam, like Emilie who had just arrived.

I looked up once again to see her sitting next to me on the wooden coffee table. She was looking at me curiously. I gave her a short wave as another message pinged. I felt her move to stand over me to see what was going on. I didn't move away from her knowing that she was discreet and would probably offer her opinion if she felt it was needed.

 **GUEST367A: You're right. I'm sorry about your mother. I just don't know what to do. I feel so broken.**

Emilie drew in a deep breath which I could feel against my neck. "Are you counseling?" She asked quietly.

"I suppose in a way. I work for a call center but since I can't go back just yet I'm doing online work. This is a case I've been working on all morning. It's very sad." I tilted my head up slightly so that I could look at her.

Emilie had her nail in between her teeth. She wasn't biting it, it looked like she was mulling something over. "Have you done something like this before? This severe? I used to teach before I was abducted. I forgot I haven't told you about that yet. Later." She commented before continuing on. "I used to deal with delicate situations. A few incidents happened at the school. Had to watch out for the kids like it was my life. I hadn't been there very long before I couldn't go back. I remember reassuring this mother once. It might help her if you don't mind?"

"I don't mind. There isn't much else I can do beyond getting a lawyer involved. This isn't something she can handle on her own. She's going to need to seek counsel. Every single one of the families previously had to. Unless she doesn't want to know any more than that."

"I doubt that. Every person wants to know why their loved one has left the world. Especially in cases like this." She gestured for the laptop and took her seat back on the coffee table. I watched her take a moment once I passed my computer over to her to think on what she wanted to say before she began to type out a response on my behalf.

I heard someone clear their throat from the backside of the couch. I turned to my head to see Trinity giving me a weird look. "What?" I mouthed. She simply gave me the signal for 'okay' as she nodded in Emilie's direction. I rolled my eyes at her. "She's taken." I told her quietly. This was the second time I've had to tell someone that. Trinity knew better but enjoyed teasing me all the same.

"Bee's not my type." Emilie voiced clearly hearing my part of the conversation. "I adore her already. I mean she's pretty cute, especially when she blushes. She's blushing right now isn't she?" She kept typing all the same never taking her gaze off the monitor as she spoke.

I was indeed blushing. "She might be." Trinity laughed.

"See, cute. Anyway my boyfriend is pretty over protective. When I met him it was a different story. He was trying to find answers about himself and I was running."

"That's funny." Trinity quipped, ignoring the look I was giving her not to bring up Sam right now though I was curious if she heard anything from him. They had seemed close. "She met Sam while running."

"Oh, really?" Emilie asked, her eyes flickering over to me for the barest of moments. She was smiling.

"It was raining." Trinity continued.

Emilie seemed to catch onto my mood. She didn't dig anymore into the story instead made a few more clicks on the keyboard before she passed the laptop back over. "I did what I could. It seems she'll be okay. I sent her the number of the lawyer I had to use awhile back to deal with the aftermath of my attack. I'll tell you about it while I look at your back."

I looked over what she had told my client.

Emilie: _Take a deep breath. Let it out. Cry if you need to. Write it down. All of it. Everything that you remember. Everything you wished you could have witnessed. It'll help you in the days to come. The first couple months are the worst. You'll dream of him and your husband I suspect. You'll wish that there was something more you could have done. The harsh reality is that you've done everything that you could have ever done for him and that is definitely enough. You're a strong woman and you'll get through this. If you ever need anyone, I'm here for you. Call the center. Ask for Bee. Yes, that's my name. I'll be with you every step of the way._

 **GUEST367A: Thank you so much. Did your mother really name you after a flying insect?**

Emilie: _Yes. Still don't know why. I've come to love it. I get that question a lot._

 **GUEST367A: Okay. Bee. I'll talk to you in a couple of days.**

"You sound like me." It was a weird thing to read back.

"I've figured you out already. I just used what I knew and hoped that it worked, I'm happy that it worked."

"Thanks."

"This is adorable but I'm going to go take a short nap while you two are dealing with the blood. I'm not the best around blood." Trinity nose scrunched up a bit.

"I'm glad you've looked after me." I called to her as she started making it down the hallway.

"Yeah. Yeah. I love you too." She shouted in reply.

Emilie laughed as she picked up the backpack that she had brought with her. I moved my laptop to the other side of the couch as I began to lift up my shirt – a light blue tank top – so that she would be able to see what had happened. I heard her hum as the couch dipped slightly behind me as she got situated.

The small nipping of my skin as the gauze was removed had be drawing in a deep breath. "Sorry." She paused a moment. "Yeah, two stitches. They tore pretty badly. How did you do this?"

"I was getting clothes out of my dresser. Bending down like an idiot. I just hate having people do stuff for me."

"I'm the same way. It's lucky that Bucky and I actually don't mind helping each other out or else there would be problems. We do our own things too. It's an interesting balance. It kind of happened without much talking about it."

"You said you two met because he attacked you without really attacking you?" She must have noticed my confusion as she began to use a cotton swab to clean the area that she was going to have to patch once again.

"That's confusing, I know but yeah. I was taking a run at night and was just about done when he grabbed me and pulled me into an alleyway. He looked intense and uncertain and I just took him to my house. I wasn't afraid of him. The reason being was that I was held hostage and tortured for a long time before I met him. I actually threw a knife at Bucky if you can believe it." She laughed once more.

"Geez. You have some lady balls. He would scare anybody else."

"I guess I'm not everyone else? He saved my life too. Um, you know about HYDRA right?"

I nodded. "He was mixed in with that unknowingly. I don't know how much you know about Bucky but he was brainwashed to kill several people. He had recently figured out that he used to be Steve Roger's friend before they tortured him and changed him. That's how he got that arm of his too. Of course everyone knows that but was still afraid of him. I think even if he hadn't come back for me and saved my life that I would have been grateful to have known him. He really is special."

"I'm getting that sense." I paused a beat as she started to stitch once again. It wouldn't take long to finish this. "What about the other guy, the one who abducted you and hurt you?"

"I ended up killing him." She said it so quietly that I almost didn't hear her. I drew in a shaky breath as she was very still behind me. "It was one of the most terrifying things I've ever had to do. I don't enjoy fighting but I learned that I had to do it to get myself out of there alive. Still do sometimes as much as I wish that that wasn't who I am anymore. Sometimes I'm still fighting to survive. Not just for me."

"For Bucky too?" I asked.

"Yeah. We're stuck together. Forever intertwined. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have him, and Steve. Steve likes to pout but he really doesn't mind me. I've helped him with his girlfriend. They weren't getting much of anywhere because of Steve's past. They're getting somewhere now."

"I'm going to ask a very stupid question but he's Captain America and its weird thinking of him in relationships. Has he kissed her yet?"

"Not yet. They have this weird thing where they do a lot of fighting together. Different dynamic than Bucky and I, but they don't do much talking about feelings. It works for them, I guess. I can't wrap my head around it."

I hummed.

She went back to stitching me up.

"And Sam?" I had to ask. It was the only way I was going to be able to inquire about him without it being apparent that I really wanted to know. I did though.

"Of course. Sam and Bucky have this interesting relationship. I know they don't always get along but they have this understanding that only two guys who have known Steve Rogers would get. They have their own form of bond as well. Sam is always there when I need him. I can always count on him. You can too." She added.

"Have you heard from them?"

"Bucky hasn't as far as I know."

I turned my head slightly as she put a fresh gauze on the stitch.

"Wait, I thought he went with them."

Emilie shook her head. "He can't go as long as Tony doesn't feel safe around him. I don't see that changing any time soon. He is there for meetings to help with strategy. He was really good at that in the war. I've seen him do it. He knows how to map out an operation so that everybody makes it out alive. He thinks of everything."

I couldn't help it, I smiled at the way she talked about him. Not only was Emilie totally in love with Bucky Barnes she also admired him. It was sweet to see that.

"It shouldn't be too long before they make it back. From what little I managed to get out of him it should only be a couple more days. I'll make sure Sam comes by first thing so you won't worry."

"I'm not." I turned back around as she slid from behind me. I slipped my shirt back on.

"It's okay. He worries about you too." She commented before cleaning up her mess.

When she came back I thanked her. "It's no problem. I don't really do much. It's nice to get out and see people. We should do something when you are able to get outside of the house."

"That would be nice."

"It really would. I haven't had a girl friend in a long time." She looked happy at the idea that I was her new friend. I was pretty glad to have her around too.

"Do you want to watch a movie? I'm gonna be stuck here with no one for a bit. She'll be out until three at the most."

I watched her weight the options before dropping her bag and moving to my other side where my feet was on the couch. She carefully lifted them and slid in place. "What did you have in mind?"

"How do you feel about animation?"

She grinned.

She ended up staying the night keeping me company on the couch. Neither of us exactly wanted to move by the third movie so we both ended up sleeping on the couch with lots of blanket. It got really cold in the front of the house.

A few days passed in the same fashion. Trinity would leave as usual and I would be left to my own devices. I got a few hours of work in before watching something on my laptop. Except that was a small lull in that routine on a particular stormy morning.

The doorbell rang quietly in between a blaze of lighting. I sighed knowing I would have to get up to get it. It wasn't so much a pain anymore to do that. It only hurt a little now to move around. I'd more than likely being going back to work in a few more days.

I maneuvered myself out of the cocoon of blankets I had wrapped around me and slowly made it to the door. A knock came shortly before I had made it to the door. "Hold on a minute." I shouted as loud as I could. It wasn't particularly loud considering my throat was feeling a bit scratchy. I hoped I wasn't getting sick.

As I unlocked the door I immediately let out a curse. "Shit." It was followed by me pulling the drenched man inside my house along with his blonde friend who was smiling.

"Bee." Steve Rogers greeted as he helped Sam over to the couch where my blankets were spilling all over the floor.

"What the hell happened?" I sighed as I took to sitting on the coffee table, mirroring Emilie from a few days ago.

I wasn't going to move until they told me the truth. Sam had been very tight lipped before and I understood why but at the same time I didn't expect him to turn up like this; beaten up with one arm in a sling.

* * *

 **Well...Sam finally made it back. I'm sure we're all happy about that.**

 **To address my decision to talk about police brutality, I'm not getting political in the slightest though I will admit that there is something that needs to be done in the country about both the police issues and the gun control and that's basically I'll say. In that same vein I just wanted to showcase some of the scenarios that Bee deals with when she's working. Not all of them are that intense but she does deal with very delicate matters most of the time. It's what she's good at. In some way she's everyone elses counselor except her own.**

 **You also got a rough cut of Emilie's life and relationship with Bucky before meeting Bee. It's kinda of like the short version if you haven't read His Name is Bucky. If you have a lot of that will be familiar to you. It's a nice little connection for those of you who came from there.**

 **I just want to say that Bee wasn't scared of Emilie when she told her she killed LUKE - who she never called by name - she was more startled by the fact that Emilie had told her so quickly almost without blinking. That's something you can't just tell people. Emilie wants to get to know Bee so it helps her case.**

 **I know this chapter was sort of fillerish but I think it's important to see these moments between Emilie and Bee. It's important for the long haul + it's a nice contrast to what's going on in the Civil War arc in HiB. I hope you like it. Please let me know what you thought of it.**

 **much love,**

 **day**


	9. Chapter 9

Will to Live

9.

 **BEFORE** :

 _As I unlocked the door I immediately let out a curse. "Shit." It was followed by me pulling the drenched man inside my house along with his blonde friend who was smiling._

" _What the hell happened?" I sighed as I took to sitting on the coffee table, mirroring Emilie from a few days ago._

 _I wasn't going to move until they told me the truth. Sam had been very tight lipped before and I understood why but at the same time I didn't expect him to turn up like this; beaten up with one arm in a sling._

 **NOW** :

While I was more or less fuming physically at the sight of the two super heroes looking very rough around the edges, I was also pretty thankful that they were alive. Sam seemed to have gotten the worse end of it. He had his eyes closed – one of which was shut nearly entirely – for the briefest of moments before sensing that Steve was looking at him, silently asking him a question which he only answered with a short wave of the hand that wasn't restricted.

He did give me a small smile before he resumed his resting position.

"So…" Steve started. I could tell that he wasn't normally used to discussing things like this unless in an official capacity. I vaguely had seen clips of him addressing soldiers from in the 40s. Somehow that sure posture was lost to a man who looked both awkward and plain exhausted.

"Let me help you out. The Avengers went somewhere off planet to fight those creatures that had ambushed the party a few weeks ago. Only now coming back and turning up like this."

Steve nodded. "Yeah. It doesn't always go like this."

Sam opened his eyes at the blatant lie and was practically glaring at his friend. "You know you don't have to sugarcoat it."

"I hate liars." I quipped, letting out a deep sigh trying not to get more upset at Steve. He wasn't the bad guy. Neither of them were. They just happened to cause others to feel the weight of worrying over them constantly. "Just be straight with me. I don't want to try to understand the alien things. I'm not too concerned with that. But, I just want to try to find a reason to rationalize this. You're kind of a mess. Did you even get any medical attention before coming here?"

Sam had an amused pull to his mouth. "Emilie wouldn't do much more than put my arm in this until we came to see you. Said something about it being better than a phone call."

I had to keep my face straight. I could feel myself growing red from another reason than me being annoyed at them. "Well, she's not wrong."

"I'll call her after we finish hashing this out. I'm not great at the whole patching people up thing. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Sam shifted a little. "The short version is that things got out of hand quickly. There were more of them than there were of us, including the friends of Thor's that were almost as intense as him in battle. First time meeting them, they're something."

"You met Sif? Lady Sif, I mean?" I tried to brush it off as if it was nothing but she was one of those people that I had seen and immediately wanted to know more about.

Sam let out laugh. It dampened because of how jerky he got. "Yes," Steve said in reply as I got up to go get some water for Sam. "I was surprised that she liked me."

"Why? Doesn't everyone like Captain America?" I called, as I decided to grab one for Steve too.

"You flatter me, Bee. There are plenty of people who hate both the Avengers, and just me personally." Steve returned once she had retook her place across from them. They both thanked her as she placed the two cool bottles of water in their hands.

"I don't see anything wrong with you guys. Not your fault people keep attacking and causing havoc…everywhere."

"You have a point." Steve conceded. "It's not that simple for everyone else. Anyways, we had to regroup pretty quickly. Sam here was sidelined for the brunt of the fight."

"About five came at me. The suit isn't equipped for that environment. Neither was I really which is why I'll say it again…I didn't want to go."

Steve seemed to get that. "Next time we have to cross dimensions or go to space for some reason I won't add you to the list or at the very least we'll talk about it extensively."

"Everyone was going man. What was I supposed to do?"

"Not go?" I sounded highly sarcastic and Sam noticed. He looked taken back. I hadn't really ever been that aggravated with him before but the way he was acting. "You always have a choice. If you ever feel like you don't then you should probably take a break from it."

"It's not exactly something you can step away from." Steve mumbled.

"Steve. You've been in this much longer than Sam has, it might be easy for you to say that given all that has happened to you but even still I think there is a choice. I mean I could be wrong. I don't know the first thing about that life – super heroes and all that - but I've had to make a hard choice concerning my safety before and it wasn't something easy by any means. But, I had to make the choice."

"What did you do?" Sam spoke up.

"I walked away." I paused a brief moment, I wasn't planning to go into it. It was something personal and I wasn't prepared to talk about it. "Sometimes it's the right thing to do for yourself. It's still your choice and that's all I'll say about that."

I could tell that Sam wanted to ask but he also knew that I wasn't one to just openly talk about things. I had nothing again Steve Rogers, in fact I liked him quite a lot. Today was not the day to talk about Jay and my escape from death.

"So what was the end result? Considering you were at least one man down and outnumbered?"

"We managed to fend them off until Loki go there."

"I thought…" I started.

Steve grimaced. "Yeah, well we needed his help and Thor vouched for him. As much as many of us wanted nothing to do with him he was true to his word and didn't do anything to harm any of us. He actually helped Wanda a lot."

"Wanda?" I couldn't remember meeting anyone named Wanda.

"Oh. You must have missed her. She newer to the team. From Slovakia. She had do things with her mind."

"Remind me not to cross her."

Sam chuckled. "She's a good kid. You'd probably like her."

We were all quiet for a little while. During this little lull I shot a text to Emilie. She responded quickly enough. ' **Be there soon.** '

"Are you hungry?" I wasn't sure what else I could do why we waited so if I could do something that focused less on the image of two beaten up men on my couch, I would.

"I could eat." Steve smiled.

As I got to my feet and started to head to the kitchen, Sam caught my wrist with his free hand. "You might want to make a lot. He eats like he's never eaten before."

"Oh c'mon Sam. It's not my fault." Steve sighed.

"It's fine. By the way Trinity should be coming soon so I would probably prepare him for that."

"Why do I need to be prepared?" Steve questioned as I continued on my journey back to the kitchen. I had Trinity go shopping for me a few days ago so I was pretty stocked to make anything. I made my way through the cabinets opening them up to see what I had. I didn't know when Emilie would get here. Soon was such a loose term.

Something quick would probably be my best bet. I spotted the cheese and the full loaf of bread. Maybe I could make some soup too. Wouldn't take long.

Despite my nearly healed injury I wasn't supposed to be doing anything that would injury me any further like cutting things. Knives were supposedly a no-no. I was fine with a knife though so I nearly entertained the idea before the doorbell rung while I was buttering up the pan to get started on the sandwiches.

"I got it." Steve said.

I expected to hear a scream or some kind of indication that Trinity was losing her mind at being met by Steve Rogers. Instead I couldn't hear much. They were talking in hushed tones. She didn't waste any time getting to me though to preserve her chill demeanor.

I nearly laughed as she turned me around and looked very alarmed. She opened her mouth to say something. "Did you say hello to Sam?" I asked her instead.

She doubled back out of the kitchen giving me a couple moments of peace. I heard her inquiring on what had happened to him. "You look worse than she did." I heard him chuckle. "I got hit pretty hard." "Seems like it. Well feel free to hang around."

"You realize this is my house, right?" I peeked out the door at Trinity.

She gave me a sheepish smile. "You're not going to send him home like that, right? He probably can't even walk or support himself in that condition."

I could heard Sam trying to argue you with that. "You know me so well." I was only being partially sarcastic, she had a point. I wasn't going to send him home. He could stay. I was cooking them a late dinner anyhow.

She continued to chat with the guys while I got to work in the kitchen. By the time the doorbell rang a second time and Emilie filtered in with another gruff sounding person (Bucky) I was just about done. I went to call Trinity in there to join me but she was already next to me.

It took me about a minute to realize that Bucky Barnes could be intimidating to others. When I had met him I hadn't felt threatened in the slightest. He had seemed like a different person than what the newspapers and newscasts made him out to be. When he was among friends – his girlfriend in particular – he was harmless.

"He isn't going to hurt you." I told her as I loaded up the ten grilled cheese sandwiches I had already made onto a platter. I had her stir the soup while I ducked out and placed the plate on the table. I got a hug from Emilie before telling her I would be back. I watched each of them grab a sandwich, even Emilie had managed to tuck one in between her teeth before she started working on Sam. It didn't seem like she was that concerned about Steve. I guess I got it. He would be fine in the long haul. Sam wasn't like them. He was normal.

"Get me a couple bowls. You'll have to help me bring them out. I only have two hands and one of which you keep staring at. My arm is fine." I told her hurriedly as I took the spoon for her so I could taste the red soup. It needed a little bit of a season. Not too much.

I let it bubble up a little bit longer before we begin ladling it into the bowls. When I came back out I had grabbed the other ten sandwiches and juggled two bowls in my hand. Trinity hadn't followed me but I suppose I didn't need her too, yet. Bucky had gotten him from his position on the arm of the sofa and had reached out to help me.

"Thanks." I told him. He passed the bowls out to Steve, placing one down next to Emilie either for her or Sam. Then he told me to sit and he would get the rest. I wanted to warn him that there was an unhinged woman in the kitchen but I didn't need to worry it seemed. Trinity soon came out with a soft smile on her face.

"He introduced himself." She said simply.

I had to try not to laugh as I moved to sit behind Emilie and took one of the sandwiches. Bucky came back out and handed me a bowl. I gave him a nod in appreciation before digging in myself. Trinity situated herself in front of me on the ground. There was surprisingly a lot of space. I typically wasn't around whenever mom had a lot of people in the house. I wasn't big on crowds.

This group of people felt different. I didn't feel nervous, not as much as usual. I felt pretty comfortable; which made it less awkward when there was a definite lull in conversation as everyone consumed the food I had made.

I could feel Emilie working on Sam from behind me but I didn't turn to see how that was going. From when she had helped me out the handful of times before it was clear that she was at least higher on the list of capable people to sort it out.

"How was work?" I decided to ask Trinity. We hadn't had a moment to play catch up for the night considering the interruption of super heroes.

"Actually there was a strange order that came in." She paused in putting the last bite of the sandwich she was eating in her mouth, the red liquid from the soup dripping from it as she poised it over the bowl.

"What do you mean?" I placed my bowl next to me in the empty space. It was kind of lucky that mom had kept this huge table. I would have thought it would have taken over the room but with the way things were set up it fit perfectly in the thick of the sofas and the recliner.

"It's a pickup order for the morning so we had to get it done tonight. It was carrot cake but with red icing and they asked for an extra piping bag of white frosting. Maybe they wanted to add something to it themselves. The red frosting is odd."

I had to agree with that.

"Where there any other odd instructions?"

"Yeah, technically I wasn't supposed to know about it but when the order gets picked up we're supposed to not notice. There's a specific time and everything. I inquired if maybe we should have a beat cop in there maybe in regular clothes just in case. He said not to worry."

Bucky who was obviously listening to the ordeal chimed from behind us. "It's sketchy as hell."

Trinity looked over at him and bit her lip. "Yeah, I know. We never get weird orders like that so there has to be something going on. Doesn't sound too good."

Bucky immediately turned to Emilie. It didn't take too long for me to realize that the two of them were planning something though they didn't exactly say what. Emilie merely nodded. "I have been craving something sweet."

Trinity for all her effort tried to get them to back out of whatever it was they were planning to do but Steve told her that they wouldn't interfere with the business. "You're not coming." Emilie immediately told him. He opened his mouth to retort but she shook her head almost like a scolding mother – I had to refrain from laughing at how much she reminded me of my own – "You just got back from another world and you look like shit. Not as shitty as Samuel here, but you still need to take it easy. He's gotten better at not drawing attention to himself. Plus, I'll be there. Nothing makes people uncomfortable like a very obvious couple in love."

She had him there. "Do you typically do negotiations?" I asked her with a grin on my face.

"No. I'm just good at getting my point across."

"It's scary." Trinity echoed. "In a very 'I really like you and want you as my friend not my enemy' sort of way."

"Thank you." She seemed to be just about done with Sam. I had avoided looking for fear of what I would see underneath. All things considered he didn't look as bad but he wouldn't be able to do any heavy lifting for a while. I didn't even know if he did weights. I knew he ran but even that might have to take some time. "All done."

It seemed that Bucky was about to say something but Sam must have known because he easily used his good arm to push him off the arm of the couch. "I swear I will actually hit you – I didn't say kill Steve – if you say whatever you're thinking right now."

It was at that moment that I realized that there was a tiny bit of animosity between the two of them. It wasn't lethal by any means but there was a bit of tension there. Perhaps Bucky liked to tease Sam. In this case he wasn't feeling up to dealing with it. That was warranted, I believed.

Instead of retorting Bucky grabbed the handful of dishes that had been emptied and headed to the kitchen. I decided to join him merely to ask him a question.

"He doesn't hate you, right?"

He jumped slightly but jostled to the side so that I could get to the sink when he realized it was me. He shook his head with a smile. "Not exactly. He's actually helped me a lot. It's surprising really considering I did try to kill him a few times when I wasn't Bucky."

"I've seen a few videos. You seem okay now and Sam has a habit from what I know of trying to help people when he can."

Bucky nodded. "It's why Steve likes him. He's loyal to the end and has gotten me out of several situations that concerned the other Avengers."

I could tell that he struggled with the others. They didn't appear to be as accepting of him. "Do you work with them?"

He shook his head. "I think it'll be awhile before that happens. Something big would have to happen, I do send information if I know something. It's the only thing I can do."

"I'm sorry." I offered, "I do know what that's like."

He hummed. He was looking at me as if trying to figure something out. He just nodded before giving me a short wave. "Thanks for dinner."

I could hear most of them getting up and moving around. It sounded like Steve was reluctant to leave Sam but both Bucky and Emilie were eager to get him out. When the dust settled he did offer me a goodbye in the kitchen before he headed out.

"Let me know if you need anything. I can come back…" He trailed off.

"Steve." Bucky called.

I smiled at him. "I will but I think I'll be fine. He probably just needs to rest."

He grinned before doubling back to go say bye to Sam. They seemed to be in a hushed conversation when Emilie slipped in to talk to me. "I gave him some ibuprofen. He should be okay for the night. You're okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Should be going back to work completely next week."

Emilie gave me a smile. She seemed amused. "Not what I meant. I sent him to you for a reason, ya know? I could take care of him if I wanted to. Hell, I'm taking my boyfriend's best friend home with us. One more wouldn't hurt."

I shook my head at her. "I know why. I just, it freaked me out. I asked him to let me know when he got back not get himself hurt and come here on a rainy night and nearly give me a heart attack."

"Welcome to the club, Bee. This is what I've been dealing with for a while now. Except Sam actually knows how to use a phone. Bucky often forgets."

"Hey." Bucky had just stepped in. He put his head on Emilie's shoulder, and gave her a hurtful look. It was a false expression but it made us both laugh.

"You know it's true, Barnes."

"It's not my fault I'm not from this decade. I'm used to just showing up places or writing letters."

Emilie tilted her head to look at him. It didn't take an idiot to tell how much what he said just made her feel more intently towards him. I just about pushed them out of the kitchen for being utterly adorable.

"Stop saying shit like that. We're in front of someone you know."

He smirked, "I know." He had the gall to wink at her.

"You guys are too much." I breathed. It wasn't exactly what I was going to say but it was close. I'd save it for another occasion. I'm sure they would do something that would make my filter disappear completely.

"We try." Bucky mumbled, before detaching himself from his girlfriend and stepping out of the room once more.

"Think of it as an opportunity. You don't really get to know someone more than when they need your help or are sick."

"I'm not sure that he does need me. It might just be the other way around."

"I don't think you give yourself much credit, Bee. Trust me. You count." She reached out patted my face. "Let me know if you need anything. We'll drop by after we go to the The Sweet Shack and give you an update. Probably bring some food so you don't have to be back in the kitchen again."

"You don't have to."

"That's what friends are for." She replied, simply before turning around swiftly. I followed her to the door.

I gave Steve a reassuring nod before he finally was ushered out the door by his two friends. I tried to laugh as I turned around. Sam was looking at me.

"Hi." I said quietly.

"Hey, Bee. Sorry about this." He sighed as he tried to get up. He was almost worse than me.

"Get comfortable. You can stay there. It's a pretty comfortable couch actually. Mom knew how to pick good furniture."

He smiled. "Are you okay being in this place now?" He changed the subject.

"It's always been home. It's just her not being in it anymore that is hard." I wrung the towel that I nearly forgotten was in my hands

"Yeah. I remember after the incident with my parents. I couldn't be there but then again I didn't have a choice after a while. I was pretty young. Then I moved in with my family. Eventually moved here after my tours were over."

"Did you always want to come here?"

He shook his head. "I didn't have a lot of options really but D.C. had more opportunities than anywhere else. It's where I eventually got a job at the VA, set myself up pretty good."

I nodded, he had a nice house.

"Well D.C has always been home to me so I guess I didn't have much of a choice either."

"To echo your earlier sentiment, you always have a choice."

"You believe me?"

"Sure. You haven't given me any reason to doubt you thus far. You're pretty smart and you've obviously seen a lot." He stopped there, I bowed my head a little. "We don't have to talk about it. I'm already intruding enough as is."

I jerked my head up. "You're not. You put me up for a night once. It'd be silly if I didn't return the favor. You should try to get some sleep." I mumbled before crossing the room to get to the linen closet that was tucked right before the hallway that lead to the bedrooms started.

I helped him move over so that he could lay down completely. His legs just barely hug off the end of the couch but he didn't seem to mind.

"It is comfortable. Where did she find this?" He shifted a little.

"No idea. She was good at that sort of things."

"She was good at a lot, it seems."

"Yep." I echoed, as I unfolded the blanket to throw over him.

I got ready to go back to the kitchen where I could spy Trinity peeking when Sam called to me again. "Bee." He paused, waiting for me to move back over so that he could see me. His expression was hard to read but his words were absolute. "Thank you. I think she would have been proud of you."

"You didn't really know her."

"I think I have a good picture at this point." I smiled softly at him, before turning around and meeting Trinity and pulling her with me down the hall. I could do the dishes in the morning.

* * *

 **I love so many things about this chapter. Mostly the fact that I didn't even put what I planned to put in this chapter. It'll start off the next one. Somehow this one took a life of its own – actually that's what's been happening with every chapter since I began it. It's fun.**

 **I'm loving this little family that's being developed. That BuckyEmi moment actually made me pause writing the end because I started laughing so hard. Little things like that jump on me and I'm just like 'can you two chill for a sec'. There will be more of them obviously. The thing that Bee refrained from saying will be used for a specific instance that I've had planned for a while. So yeah. There's that.**

 **I'm just really happy with this. I hope you guys like it too. Also don't fret Bee/Sam will be main priority next time. Well and the side thing with the sketch baker order. I mean he's kind of at her place now, isn't he?**

 **Can't wait to hear what you think!**

 **much love,**

 **day**


	10. Chapter 10

WILL TO LIVE

10.

I woke up to the sounds of Trinity getting up to head out for work. She reached over as she slipped on her boots and ruffled my hair. "I'll call you on my break, kay?" She said quietly before rising up. I gave her a small noise of affirmation before rolling back over to close my eyes for a few minutes. I'd probably end up getting up shortly to starting doing things around the house or the very least make some kind of breakfast for myself.

It was hard to sleep now that I was on my own in this house. I had told Sam that it was the same and in some ways that was true but it hadn't gotten any easier. Every time I turned around I expected to see my mom smiling or laughing about something. She had left me with a hole that I couldn't quite figure out how to mend. In some way maybe that was a good thing. I didn't want to forget her.

Finding it harder to go back to sleep I let out a sigh and reached over to click on the lamp that was sitting on my nightstand causing the room to be dimly lit. I didn't need anything else for the moment as I slipped off the bed and stretched a little trying to work out all the uncomfortable positions that I usually felt in my legs. There was a little stiffness in my shoulder but that was something that had been dealing with ever since the incident. It was lesser than it had been which I was grateful for.

I moved along to go the bathroom for a quick shower and the like before heading through to the kitchen so that I could tackle it while fixing something quick to eat. I'd probably manage to get a few work chats started before I did anything else. My mind was already running and it was 6:55 by the time on the clock that I passed as I headed towards the entrance to the kitchen. I stopped, and turned around quickly when I realized that I wasn't completely alone this morning.

How I could forget that Sam Wilson had stayed over, not cool. I decided to check on him or at the very least make sure he was still comfortable as he slept. Making silent footsteps to get to the back of the couch. I found Sam laying still looking as at peace as he could be with one arm in a sling and the other just barely tucked outside of the blanket and falling against the floor. He seemed to be okay.

It was enough for me to resume what I had been doing albeit with a question on my mind; what was I supposed to do with him now that he was here? I could probably help him move into one of the other rooms? Last night I hadn't even thought of it. He had struggled enough as is getting into the house with Steve Rogers. He'd be more comfortable in one of them. I'd probably have to make sure the room was livable.

It really shouldn't be a problem. My mom used to keep rooms at a time for guests in case we had any. When she was still alive we had plenty of people over who sometimes kept me in my old room or varying in when I came around if I was still in my old apartment. There were two upstairs with my mom's room and one below closest to mine and the bathroom. The ones upstairs were much nicer but I found myself thinking it would be easier for him at the moment to move towards the one downstairs.

A part of my brain was question if that was all there was to it. The voice sometimes sounded like Emilie causing me to shake my head of it. It was just the best solution for the time being. That was all.

I washed the dishes first, before grabbing a bowl of Honey-Nut Cheerios and planting myself on the chair opposite of Sam where I spent time checking my emails – most of which were from my job passing along cases for me to do today, a few from old classmates inquiring how I was doing, a few coupons from stores that I frequented, and one email from someone I didn't know titled ' _You're in danger_.'

I stared at the subject line for a few moments thinking that maybe I shouldn't open it. I had a hell of a lot on my plate as is. I didn't need to add any more worries to my trouble.

I looked over at Sam again, he had shifted slightly to the side. He wasn't in any danger of falling off the couch but he was turned in my direction. I could have sworn for a brief moment I had seen him look at me but I was already looking back at my monitor.

I minimized the window, deciding to leave it for later. There was more thing I wanted to do before even tried to settle back down into work mode. Anything else could wait.

-x-

Sam had to admit that this was the best sleep he had in long while. Sleeping in silk sheets of Asgard was the weirdest experience, comfort he usually found when he was still touring for the military. A couch should have been the least comfortable place but the found it quite homey for the hours that he did fall asleep. His eyes opened just as they did off and on all night unsure of if it was really safe to sleep at all.

This time in particular he spotted Bee sitting in the chair that was tucked closest to the door. She had done something to her hair. The handful of times that he had seen her since meeting her it was always down in her natural curls. Very fitting to her. Not much of that had changed except half of it was twisted back out of her face in a few lines that met in middle of the half that was curled. It was a very interesting look but she seemed to pull it off. Especially paired with her rather 'I'm clearly at home' relaxing outfit of tights and a large sweater that hung off her shoulders. She was on her laptop while also juggling a bowl of cereal in her hand.

He could help but smile at the picture before sleep tugged back at him once more.

It wasn't much longer that he was awake again but the woman of the house was gone. He let out a sigh as he used his good arm to try to sit up as much as he could so he could have a better look around. The front room was completely empty besides him.

He could hear the sound of music coming from somewhere further in the house. This would give him a reason to get up and look around more. He wasn't trying to invade her space but he would be lying if it hadn't got him curious. Plus, he definitely had to use the bathroom.

So he took the necessary precautions to push himself into standing and slowly moving about. That friend of hers – Trinity definitely had a point. It hurt to move but he had a mission in mind and he would do his best to make sure that it happened as quickly as he could manage it.

The hallway that he had seen both women duck behind had minimal lighting but he managed to find the source of the music and the bathroom. They were across the hall from each other. He elected to relieve himself before finding out about the former.

It was with luck that by the time he came back out that the music hadn't stopped but it had definitely reached the end of the song. He got to see the wild curls of Bee as she moved her fingers against the keys of a piano and a very large room that was nearly vacant apart from the several pillows and the piano itself. There was a few photographs hung around the walls. He wanted to look at each one but stuck to leaning against the archway of the doorway until she was finished playing.

She was pretty good although she kept stopping every couple of seconds as if she forgot how to proceed. Maybe she was out of practice but it sounded fine to him.

As the song came to a close he finally let her know he was there. "You're pretty good."

She jumped, instinctively obviously not expected him. She twisted her head around and gave him a hesitant smile. "Uh…why are you even up? Doesn't that hurt?" She was obviously trying to get out of accepting the compliment but he had learned to roll with her on most things so far.

He laughed, briefly before the pain set in once more. He wanted to curse Thor and his bad luck for bringing the aliens to his life time and time again because how was laughing on his list of CAN'T DO now?

"Yeah." He said once he could breathe again.

Bee was frowning. She wasn't happy that he was in pain.

Sam let out a sigh as he jerked his upper body off the wall and started walking towards her. She moved over a little so that he could sit. He was grateful for that, truly. "I had to use the bathroom and I heard the music. How long have you been playing?" He asked as he peered down at her. Her hands were in her lap now and she was clearly fidgeting.

"Close to all of my life. Mom taught me when I was younger. I haven't played in a while…" She trailed off.

"It sounded good." He commented causing her to lift her head and look over at him with a slight grimace. "Thank you but I'm very rusty." She paused a moment to look him over, trying to check on him. "So how did you sleep?"

Sam smiled. "Actually really good. I kept waking up for some reason. Not used to sleeping on a couch. Though it was definitely better than the past few days. They have very satin sheets in Asgard. Not the best for a man who was injured."

He could tell by the look on her face that she was about to make a joke so he prepared himself. "Oh, you're telling me you didn't enjoy the finer things that that place had to have?"

"Bee, you misunderstand me. It was great but I'm not that kind of guy. I've been around Tony Stark long enough to not care for that. The good thing about Thor is though yes he's lived with it all his life he seems to not care as much."

"That's what happens though when you are born into that. It's good it didn't go to your head though. I wouldn't know what to do. I think I went to one of those gatherings once with rich people you know, yeah I'm not suited for that life. I like to keep to keep it simple."

"I don't think you'd fit there either." He nodded.

"Gee thanks." When Sam opened his mouth to respond she laughed. "Kidding. You can relax you know."

He shook his head at her. At the very least he was glad that she wasn't upset anymore. She seemed to be in a better mood today.

"I have a question." Bee said after a while of the two of them sitting there quietly. Sam had tested a few keys of the piano but other than that they were comfortable sitting in solitude.

"What's up?"

She drew in a deep breath before asking him. "What's your deal? Like what makes you keep flinging yourself into danger for Steve or I guess Bucky too? Why do you do that? I mean I would do as much as I could to keep my grandparents and Trinity safe because they're all I've got but these are people who came into your life. Are they just that important? Or is there something else keeping you on this road?"

Sam wasn't as surprised by her line of questioning as he thought he would be. They had only talked minimally about how his second job was saving the world with the Avengers and that Steve Rogers had got him in. He hadn't shared everything though. She knew about Riley, yes. But there was more there than that.

"There's one thing that I didn't tell you before. I asked him to let me help. I guess I was tired of not being able to do more than offer words of strength to people; not that I don't like that, I love that when I get a chance to do it but now I can do more than before. It reminds me of what I used to be able to do. I saved lives – most of them – and if that's something that counts then I want to be able to do it. Steve said that people hated him and yes, that's true but I'm also a part of that. I can't kid myself into believing that everyone is going to like me. I'm a black man who wears a suit that helps me fly and take down bad guys. That has to turn some heads."

She nodded.

"I get it. Trust me, I do. I was never gonna tell you this but it's sort of inspiring as a black woman to see people kind of like me doing things like that. I might not like what it does to you because you've done more for me than anyone who didn't already know me and accept that I struggle harder because of my past and I'm gonna tell you about that soon I swear it's just you seem to be dealing with so much already. I'm not gonna be the one to add more to your plate."

Sam placed his hand on top of hers stilling her twitching movements. "Bee. Just because we don't spend every day together doesn't mean that I'm not worried about what's going on in that head of yours. It's clear that something's bothering you and want to talk about it. I'm here when you're ready. No questions asked."

"Thanks." She said quietly. "I ramble a lot, sorry." She sounded sheepish.

"It's endearing." He added as he squeezed her hand before retracting his hand. She shook her head at him.

"If that's what you want to call it, then sure Sam." He had the urge to laugh at her but knew that he couldn't considering his body was currently telling him no.

Bee slipped off the bench and looked about the room as if she was looking for something. When she stepped over to the clock she had clearly found it. "Do you want something to eat? It's around lunch time, Bucky and Emilie should be on their way with food."

Sam agreed and she came back over to help him up. He was glad for the help back into the sitting area. While they waited Bee told him about the room that she was going to make up for him. He tried to get her not to do that because the couch was fine but she is pretty stubborn. He seemed to be surrounded by people like that.

"It's not a big deal. I take care of my friends. Plus it's been awhile since I've done this sort of thing. I have a feeling with your friends I'll have to open up the ones upstairs too."

"How many rooms are in this house?" He smiled.

"A lot. Mom got it on a deal it. There's six rooms. One mine, the other was hers; not sure what I'm going to do with it yet, two and a half bathrooms and the lounge room that we were just in. I never realized just how much space there was until you asked." Her eyes widened.

"It'll be fine. You don't have to do anything with all of it by yourself."

She hummed thoughtful before she rushed over to her laptop and sat in the chair. "Um, so I hope you don't mind but I have to start on work I'll expect they'll call me and ask what's wrong with me."

"How do you work from home? I think Emilie said something about chats or something." He asked as he watched her begin logging in.

She explained it much like how she explained it to Emilie before. "It gets me the hours." She shrugged.

He let her get to it for a little while before the doorbell rang once more. She shot him a stern look as he tried to get up. He had to chuckle at that. She was pretty adamant about making sure he did as little as possible. It was sweet but he didn't see it lasting too long. She was going back to work in a few days. What did she expect him to do then?

-x-

It was strange to feel the atmosphere change the moment I let Bucky and Emilie inside the house. The air felt stiff as we all got settled in with food and drinks thanks to my best friend who had certainly sent a lot of food. Did she expect that we would eat this all or was she simply hoping it was one thing for me not to worry about? Maybe a bit of both.

Bucky had brought a duffle for Sam. "Steve went to your house. Don't worry, I wasn't with him." He told him as he sat it on the floor next to Sam's feet.

Sam thanked him silently.

I shot Emilie a worried look. "So what happened?"

Emilie tried to reassure me with a smile. "We took care of it. Nothing to worry about. Probably gave Tony a headache in the process considering I left a group of guys tied up near Avengers HQ."

"Did you really?" Sam snorted.

"Yup. Some new crime organization trying to start something with the mob. We took care of it for them. I expect to see a letter soon."

I drew in a deep breath as I closed my laptop after telling the newest client that I would resume our conversation after I had a late lunch. "And that doesn't freak you out? We're talking about the mob knowing of your existence."

Bucky seemed to find this amusing. "Most people know who I am but Emilie can take care of herself. It's not like we attacked them. We merely helped them out. It wasn't for their benefit, Bee. Stop thinking for a second. Everyone you care about is fine. Trinity looked like she wanted to kiss me honestly."

"And me." Emilie admitted as she took a sip of her soda. "Truly, Trinity will tell you the same when she gets off later. The Sketchy Mission is complete."

I couldn't quite wrap my head around the idea that the mob was somehow involved with Trinity. I was always going to be looking over my shoulder now out of association. One look at Sam however seemed to prove that he knew what I was thinking and he gave me a soft small as if to say 'C'mon. Just for a day, relax.'

I had told him just as much earlier. I offered him a grimace in return. It seemed to be enough. We both turned back to the duo who were recounting just how uncomfortable seeing a known assassin and his girlfriend strolling into a sweets restaurant and pretend as if everything was normal.

"It was really fun." Emilie commented.

She seemed to be really happy so I couldn't exactly rain on that today. I trusted her to tell me if something bad had happened.

Once we had all finished eating what of the large trays of food that we could I took the rest to the kitchen where Emilie followed me. "How was it?" She immediately asked.

When I didn't answer her she came up behind me and peered over my shoulder. "Um, good?" I questioned not sure what I was supposed to say.

She just laughed. "So no development?"

"I don't know what you call development, Emilie. We both woke up this morning and he found out I play the piano."

This seemed to bring out a smile on her face. "It's something at least. I can't play an instrument to save my life."

I shrugged. "I'm good at a few things." I paused and looked back up at her. "Okay, I know you like being nonchalant but how was Trinity during all of this? I know she was freaked last night after you guys left. She can be rambunctious at times but I know she was pretty out of it because of this this morning. Hell she didn't call me on her break like she said she would." I was frowning.

"She was scattered, I can admit that but I had to go back inside after we took care of the group and she seemed to have calmed down a bit. It could also have something to do with my boyfriend's steady and calming way of dealing with things."

"How do you mean?" I inquired as I stowed the last of the food in the fridge and pulled out the pitcher of water.

"Well, he's very blunt when he needs to be. It used to bother me but in the same vein I think that's what I like about him. It's good to have someone who will be straight with you even if it hurts a little bit. I think you're like that too in some way. Sure, you have your secrets but I think everybody has those. As long as it isn't hurting you I don't see the problem. But really to answer your question there's something about his eyes that keep you centered. I don't know if you've had a good look at them but they're pretty clear. I'm pretty sure he could probably be trying to be do something highly illegal – he probably has – and still it would be the most intense moment of your life. He uses it for good though. I wouldn't want any other partner."

I had to smile at the unveiled affection she had for the former assassin. It was constant but it was awfully sweet.

I could only nod. "I'm glad you have him. You seem to work well together."

I could see some color come to her face at the compliment. "Thanks." She slipped her hands in her multicolored hair. "It's been a very long road for the both of us. It's nice to know that people can see how much we care about each other."

"Not only that." I intercepted. "You seem to work great out in the field. I don't know the first thing about all of this nonsense but you don't seem to shy away from the action." This got a laugh out of her.

"That was my problem. I was hiding when I met him – not from him, mind you – but my past with" she drew in a deep breath as if hating talking about this but she wanted to talk to me about it for some reason, "LUKE the man who abducted me and practically hurt me, nearly killed me before I did what I did because I hated the why people saw me afterwards. Bucky never judged me because he's truly worse off than I am. He's done more, seen more. It works because we get it. I sense that your issues is something of the same but you don't know how to talk about it but for Sam I have a feeling it doesn't matter to him. He likes you."

I scoffed. I didn't know if that was true.

"Bee." She reached out and put her hand on my shoulder to stress the importance of what she was saying. "He does. I mean I don't know to the extent but he wasn't in any hurry to leave despite what his best friend was trying to do. Steve means well, he always does. It's just Sam isn't used to people taking care of him from what I've seen. He takes care of us. It's nice to have someone who's there for him when he needs it. I know you're in denial but it's the truth."

"I wouldn't call it that." I sighed. "It's just I'm still dealing with my past and I don't want to be. It messes with my head a bit."

"And that's okay. I think in some way we're all still coping. At least you're not alone. You have your family and us too." She trailed off.

"Thanks." I smiled at her.

Nearly right after I spoke there was the clearing of someone's throat from behind us; Bucky stood there looking pretty apologetic for interrupting us. "Steve messaged me. Wants us to come over to talk about something. He won't say what. You know how he is about this technology stuff, doesn't trust it." He added for my benefit.

"Doesn't trust people, you mean." I mumbled in return.

"That too." Bucky concede before stepping fully into the room, and folding his arms.

"He wanted me too?" Emilie asked, as if she was surprised.

Bucky pulled his phone from his pocket. It was so amusing to watch him concentrate to pull up the messages. " _I don't mind if Emilie is there. You seem to work better together and we might need her. Let me know if you can. – Steve_." He quoted.

"You guys go ahead. We're fine here. I'll make sure he hops into the shower and relaxes and if Steve needs to come by tomorrow tell him its okay." I explained. I didn't want them to feel like they had to hang around. Sam would be okay. I would be fine.

Emilie shot me a questioning look. I shrugged in return. She reached over and wrapped her arm around my neck and pulled me closer to her before planting a peck on my cheek. "You're the sweetest. I'll call you in a little while, okay?"

I felt myself nod but otherwise wasn't quite sure how to function now that she had done that. Bucky looked amused from where I was standing. I don't know if I would ever understand their relationship but I suppose that was how it was supposed to be.

At some point I heard the door close so I padded my feet on over to the couch where Sam was still sitting up. I plopped down next to him and let out a sigh.

"You okay?" He asked.

I slowly turned towards him. I nodded. "Remember when you were making sure I wouldn't do anything stupid because of Emilie?" I watched him nod but from the look on his face he wasn't sure where I was going with this line of questioning. "Tell her not to kiss me next time. It has a very good-bad reaction on me."

Sam chuckled. "She kissed you?" I just stared at him. "Huh. Well it's hard to tell her what to do. Odds are she won't follow the instructions if she doesn't see the harm in it."

"Sounds like someone else I know." I breathed. I looked away from him for a second. "Do you want to take a shower? I can make sure everything is ready."

He was silent momentarily before responding, "Sure. It might help."

"Okay." I got back to my feet and headed down the hallway. It didn't take terribly long for me to make sure everything would be in his reach. When I came back I helped him up and we moved down the corridor. I left him inside the bathroom to do his thing. He told me he'd be able to make it back just fine.

I spent the time he took to himself to set up the guest room and start work on my laptop. I had made it through two quick conversations when my doorbell rang.

"I wonder who that could be." I whispered to myself as I headed to get it.

Upon opening the door I found Pa standing there with a smile on his face. "Hey." He greeted.

I held the door in one hand unsure how to proceed. I had a man in one of my showers and my grandfather was at the door.

"Pa. What are you doing here?" I sighed.

"You missed our weekly dinners. Your grandma was worried, also I can come to my daughter's house can't I?" I didn't think he was feeling wistful. He had something in particular in mind.

I heard some shuffling behind me in the room but I registered the fact that Sam had not said a word. He was waiting on me to either close the door or let whomever was there in.

"Sorry. It's been a trial for me. Trinity hasn't wanted me to leave the house."

"You could have called, Bumble Bee." He returned quickly.

He had me there.

"Forgot. Lot on my mind."

"Are you going to let me in?" He paused. When I didn't move he pushed the door open himself. He smiled even brighter when he spotted Sam back on the couch freshly showered.

"Mr. Wilson, hello."

Sam for his part lifted his good arm in the air and gave him a short wave. "Sir."

From the way he was looking it was clear to me that he was waiting for my cue. I shut the door as my grandfather came in. He made a line for the chair that I had previously been working in. I had few stacks of paper on the floor near it but he just moved across it and made himself comfortable.

"How do you know who he is? I never told you his whole name before." I commented as I bent down to pick up my papers and my laptop and sat them on the table since I wouldn't be getting any more work done today.

"I'm old but I do know how to use the internet, Bumble Bee."

I shut my eyes. Did he have to call me that right now? It was embarrassing in present company.

"You talk about me." Sam said at the same time that I had opened my mouth to respond to my grandfather.

"I wouldn't say talk. Briefly mentioned once."

"A few times." Pa corrected me.

I groaned. "Can we not talk about this right now?"

"Fine. So Mr. Wilson what happened to you? You look rather beaten up?"

Sam though hesitant to talk about his other job seemed to not want to shy away from my grandfather for some reason. I sat on the arm of the couch furthest away from the wing man. "I lost a fight in a bad way."

"Where were you Avengers at this time?"

"Pa! I don't think he's at liberty to say." I butted in.

Sam chuckled at my insistence to try to shield him from my inquisitive relative. "Its okay, Bee." He told me before turning back to my grandfather who was looking strangely between the two of us. As if he had just realized something but he wasn't going to share it with the class or me rather. "But we were off world. In space sort of."

He hummed, mulling over Sam's answer for a tick before continuing his questions. "Would this also be the reason my granddaughter got injured a few weeks ago?"

I desperately wanted to do something but I wasn't sure how any of this was going to go. My grandfather already knew that that was the reason and yet he still asked. It was like he was testing Sam. I didn't get it.

Sam frowned but answered him all the same. "Yes, sir. I'm really sorry about that by the way. I didn't mean for that to happen."

Pa simply waved it off. "Good. I think that speaks of your character at least. The last guy she was around was not so noble."

I stiffened even more if that was possible. He couldn't tell him, could he?

"It's not the time to talk of bad seeds in the ground. Bee, your grandma wants to see you tomorrow after work. She sent me because she was annoyed and you know how she gets. I'll be there if that makes you more willing to come over."

"Do you want me to bring you anything on my way over?"

"The order you usually get from Trinity will do. Might help a bit."

I just nodded. It was taking that then I was in for a lecture the moment I got there.

"That was all. I wanted to see how you were too since you're scheduled to return to work tomorrow."

"I'm fine, Pa." I sighed.

He nodded. "I see. I'm glad."

There were a few moments of silence before he was back to his feet again. "It was nice to finally meet you, Sam." I watched Sam smile and return the pleasant greeting. He turned towards me as he took the few steps to get to me. He reached forward and twirled one of his fingers in my hair, he bent forward and kissed my brow. "I will keep this meeting a secret. She'll want to meet him at some point but I'll leave that in your hands. Take care of yourself until tomorrow, kay?"

I gave a firm nod.

He grinned before sliding backwards and then slipping out the door.

I put my face in my hands as the door clicked.

"He seemed like a good man." Sam stated.

"He is. It's his wife that gives me a headache." I pushed off the couch.

"Love is like that in families, you know Bee." He tried to cheer me up.

I turned around as I fluffed my hair up a bit. He looked better, the shower had definitely helped. "Yeah well it isn't that simple. I digress."

Sam grinned. "It can't be that bad. You turned out okay, didn't you?" He posed the question with an eyebrow raised. That eye of his was probably the worst thing I'd seen in a long time, not counting the alien creatures from weeks past.

"Thanks to my mother. Yeah, I suppose."

Sam looked like he wanted to say something to me or ask me something. "What? You obviously have been itching to ask me something so just go for it."

He chuckled. "Okay. Even though you don't want to talk about it your grandfather is making it awfully hard. Who was the guy who none of you seem to care for?"

I drew in a heavy sigh as I looked up at him. He had a point. We all tried to avoid the subject of my ex-boyfriend who also could have killed me. It seemed to be his intention at the time but I've had to think a lot about that and I still wasn't any closer to knowing the truth.

I bit my lip before looking up at this wonderful human being once more. He looked curious and it helped my resolve. I could talk about him a little.

"He wasn't all bad. They always are right. Um, well his name is-was Jay." I cleared my throat. I didn't think it would be this hard to talk about it. With a guy you was starting to like it was ten times harder I believed.

"Just J like the letter?" He seemed amused although there was some careful glimpses in his eyes that he knew that it was serious that I was willing to talk about this at all.

His response made me laugh though. "Not exactly. J-A-Y. I'm not sure if that was his full name but that's all I've ever known. We met my senior year of college and were together for about six years – so until two years ago."

I couldn't look away from Sam's judgement unsure of how much I could tell him right now and what he was thinking. He wasn't the easiest person to read but not in a bad way. It was strangely calming to see him think.

"That's a long time to be with someone."

I exhaled, nodding. "Yep. My mistake."

-x-

Sam could tell how hard it was for her to talk about it which is why he wasn't pressing her about it. There was something significant about this Jay guy that had left her confused even when it was clear he had done something to hurt her in a bad way. He wanted to know what it was but at the same time he was worried once he found out his thoughts on things at present would drastically change. He wasn't sure if that was such a bad thing as of yet.

He was still gathering his wits about Bee and how easy it was for him to be with her in the moment. They kept colliding with each other. He'd mostly have to thank his friends for that.

"It was an experience. I don't think you should regret that." He told her after a few seconds of him watching her twitch in mournful thought at what she had lived through. The thing that she had mentioned she had walked away from. It made her the woman he sat with comfortably all the more worth knowing.

She turned towards him and splayed a smile on her face. It wasn't full but it was something beautiful. "You're too good for this world, Sam Wilson."

That was the last thing she said to him before she helped him get to the room where he could rest for the night.

Before he could let her leave him he used his good arm to pull her into an embrace on his good side. He heard the quick intake of her breath as she made sure to hold onto him either so he wouldn't fall or she needed something to hold to. He smiled a little. "Goodnight, Bee."

"Yeah. You too." She muttered on her way out once they had fell away from each other and he was sitting on the bed once again alone. He didn't feel it as much though. He felt the retreating warmth of that gesture and that was enough for him to sleep for one more day.

* * *

 **This is the longest chapter I've written for this fic so far (I've been working on it for a little over a week on and off) and I don't even know what to say. So many things happened. I promised the Sam/Bee. I brought some Sam/Bee. I seriously hope you enjoyed. I would love to hear what you thought!**

 **much love,**

 **day**


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